


Intermittent

by hikari_yuma



Category: Anonymous Noise, 覆面系ノイズ | Fukumenkei Noise | Anonymous Noise (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Love Triangle, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love, coffee shop AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2018-11-22 10:36:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11378463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hikari_yuma/pseuds/hikari_yuma
Summary: Intermittent—occurring at irregular intervals; not continuous or steady.☆☆☆Yuzu loves music. He loves the way his emotions react and intertwine with a melody, the way it flows from his mouth like a raging river, falls from his fingers like glitter. Years ago he lost the ability to write music. It no longer calls to him as it did before.That is, of course, until he finds his voice.





	1. Alice

**Author's Note:**

> A/N – I adore Anonymous Noise. I really, really do. I love the manga and the anime was pretty good as well! Also if you can't tell, I also really love the Nino/Yuzu ship. I haven't written any fanfics in a while so I need to get back into the whole -submersing myself into a character- kinda thing, so for a while this is going to be all over the place, I apologise. But AN...AN made me really want to write something like this again. There's still going to be a little bit of love triangley stuff going on, but Yuzu will actually get to be happy in this and have things go his way. I don't plan on ruining Momo's life either. Basically, this is a story about growth, music, and coffee. This is your typical coffee shop AU because uhm...they're easy to write and give me creative freedom?  
> Basically these kiddos have all left high school and they're on their way to life. It strays from canon in that Momo never went away and Nino has never properly met Yuzu before - look, I swear I'm rooting for Yuzu. Also it strays away in that Yuzu still is able to sing, but instead I'm emphasising Yuzu losing touch with music, which happens in canon anyway.
> 
> This is going to be a Yuzu-centric fic! I have no idea which other pairings will arise, but we'll see how things go.

It was cold. Yuzu shivered and wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck, staring up at the icy sky. He stared out across the ocean, it's broiling depths cold and grey like the sky above it. It was peaceful – quiet. All he could hear was the sea, echoing throughout his mind. A smile threatened to tug at his lips and his mouth quivered, but only for a moment. He wandered over to the railing and leaned against it, closing his eyes and letting the ocean's melody wash over him. He began to gently hum, in time with the waves.

" _La, la la..._ " A melody known only to him. It was kind of lonely, if he thought about it. A beautiful, lonely melody...

Then his phone began to ring. A horribly loud and annoying jingle, set purposely to annoy him, by none other than – " _Haruyoshi_." Yuzu growled into his mobile. "Just what do you call this  _atrocity?!"_ The laughter that followed irked him and he began to scowl. "What do you want, anyway?" He huffed, glaring out at the ocean.   
"I want to invite you for coffee!"  
"Really?" Yuzu raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. Something was up.   
"Well you see...it's just – work has come to bit of a standstill, and everyone could use some lightning up..." At this, Yuzu's scowl deepened.  
"You want me to play? You've got to be kidding me." He turned up his nose before remembering that Haruyoshi wasn't there to see his utter disdain.   
"It's cold and I know you don't usually leave your guitar lying around." Yuzu's gaze narrowed. "Pleaseee?" Haruyoshi wheedled. "For an old friend?" Yuzu scoffed at this. "Miou and Kuro will be here too, you'll get to see Yana...it'll be the whole gang, back together again!"  
"Fine." Yuzu muttered. Haruyoshi started spluttering garbled syllables over the speaker. "I said fine. Send me the address, I'll be there soon." Yuzu shook his head and stuffed his phone back in his pocket. Typical Haruyoshi...he gazed out at the ocean and his gaze grew clouded. Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad idea. 

☆☆☆

A little bell tingled as he entered the cosy establishment. Yuzu took the time to look around. He hadn't been here in a while and there'd clearly been some redecorating. It had Yana's stylish finish with a personal touch added by the employees to make it homelier. He immediately recognised touches of his friends in the decor. His mouth quivered. Another smile threatened to break across his face. He scanned the room, eyes narrowing in confusion. He couldn't see anyone he knew at the counter or serving tables, and the outside seating was deserted in the cold winter air. He made his way up to the counter, beginning to feel lost.

"Good morning!" The voice that greeted him was bright and full of light, and Yuzu's head snapped up immediately. That voice...he was drawn to it. A young woman with crooked bangs and long pigtails was smiling at him, and Yuzu felt a small smile blossom across his face before he could stop it. This only made her grin widen.   
"G-good morning." He mumbled in response, bringing his hand to his face to hide his rapidly-reddening cheeks.  
"How can I help you?" She asked, seeming to be brimming with energy.   
"Uh – well – I'm actually..." He chanced a glance at her face again before averting his eyes, his blush deepening. "I'm looking for someone. M-my name's Yuzu. I'm a friend of Haruyoshi's."  
"I'm Arisugawa Nino!" He had no idea why she'd introduced her full name. _Arisugawa Nino…Arisugawa…Arisu –_  
"That's too long." He mumbled, his mind whirring. "I'll call you Alice." She blinked and tilted her head to the side, before suddenly her face lit up.  
"Alice! Like Alice in Wonderland!" Her smile seemed even brighter than before, and Yuzu felt blinded by it.   
"Y-yeah." He'd always been drawn into the Alice in Wonderland tales. There was something about the fantastical nature of escaping reality that has always appealed to him. He felt a silence settle over them. Not wanting things to become awkward between them, he scrambled for a source of conversation. "Would you know where Haruyoshi would be? Or, uhm, Miou or Kuro or Yana..." Her eyes grew rounder and rounder.  
"Yuzu, that's amazing." She told him, her face deadset serious. "You know all of my coworkers. I am so glad I got to meet you." His hand flew to his face again.

_G-geez, she can't just go around saying things like that..._

"M-me too." He glanced up at her from under his lashes.   
"Wow, Yuzu!" She peered over the counter at him, finding her way into his personal space. Yuzu couldn't fathom how he hadn't exploded by now from the sheer amount of heat that raged on his cheeks.   
"W-what?" He jerked back from her, trying to regain some sense of control over his emotions.  
"Your eyelashes are amazing! They're so long!" Yuzu stared at her in shock for a moment. She stared right back, unblinking.   
"Yuzu!" A cheerful voice broke through the silence that had settled with the expertise of a knife. Haruyoshi was making his way to the counter from a back room. Yuzu had never been more simultaneously pleased and pissed off to see him. He slung an arm around Nino's shoulders and grinned down at Yuzu. Yuzu knew that his red face would be a dead giveaway for Haruyoshi. "Oho..." Haruyoshi peered down at Yuzu's face. "I see you've already met Nino-chan, Yuzu."  
"Haruyoshi-senpai, I can't believe his eyelashes! They're so long! It's so cool!" Nino told him in an awed whisper.   
"Right?" Haruyoshi beamed at her. "But that's not the only cool thing about Yuzu." Yuzu relaxed and heaved a sigh of relief. So it seemed Haruyoshi wasn't going to embarrass him after all. "He also drinks five litres of milk a day!" 

Yuzu flinched and clenched his jaw. 

_You bastard._

"I play guitar." He glared at Haruyoshi while he spoke, who started nodding sagely.  
"Yuzu writes music." Nino's eyes widened. "He's good, I suppose..." Nino looked as though she was going to throw herself over the counter.  
"Can I hear you play?!" Her eyes were shining, brimming with excitement and joy.   
"S-sure." The response fell from his lips, a soft whisper. Alice was captivating. He tore his gaze from her and looked back at Haruyoshi. "I thought you said everyone else was here too. Will they be fine with me playing?" Haruyoshi grinned guiltily.   
"I'm sure Yana won't mind..." Yuzu groaned at this and rolled his eyes.   
"Ok. Fine. But if Yana gets mad, it's on you." He warned his friend, glad to have something to focus on other than Nino. "I'm going outside to warm up." He announced, and headed for the door. He wondered if playing outside would be better – he'd attract more customers that way. He set his guitar on a table and sat down, ready to get his beloved instrument out. He had just reached for the zip when the door opened.   
"Yuzu?" He froze at the gentle voice. 

 _Alice_...

She had wanted to hear him play, after all. It was only understandable, and they hadn't had many people inside to serve, so she was probably just bored. Yuzu nodded. That was it. He glanced up at her as she made her way over to where he was sitting. She was only wearing a light jacket over her uniform, and he frowned. "You'll catch a cold, Alice." He told her, loosening his scarf. "Here." He made his way over to her and wound his scarf around her neck. She smiled gently and buried her face into the fabric.   
"It's so warm and soft...thank you, Yuzu." He felt his face began to redden again and so turned away and made his way back to his guitar. He slid it out of its case and gently pulled it into his arms. He caressed the strings gently, beginning to strum a few chords. He closed his eyes, letting the music soothe his whirlwind of emotions. Without thinking, he began to play his precious melody.   
" _La, la la, la la_..." Yuzu inhaled sharply. Alice...she was singing along with the notes, her voice matching the pitch perfectly. She was singing  _his_  song, the notes that he held dearest to his heart. Her voice enveloped him, driving him on to play the rest of the melody. Once he finished all that he had so far, he began digging in his bag for staff paper and a pen. He started feverishly writing down notes, the music spilling from his fingers, overflowing. "Y-Yuzu?" She eventually ventured. He looked up, his smile filled with light.   
"Alice, I can finish this now! I can finish the song!" He knew he was smiling without restraint, but he didn't care. Had smiling always felt this good, this elating? He hurriedly grabbed his guitar and looked up at Nino. "Alice," his eyes simmered with determination. "I want you to sing for me. I want you to sing this." This precious melody that no one else had heard before. She gulped, clenched her fists, and adjusted her stance. Her eyes met his. 

"I will." 


	2. Frigid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frigid - very cold, icy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – theme for this chapter: stay  
> i loveee this song, the instrumental is lovely it's really calming.  
> how to (try) to write Yuzu:  
> 1\. channel all the tsun  
> 2\. write and cry at the same time  
> 3\. aggressively play an air guitar to the anonymous noise soundtrack  
> 4\. drink milk  
> 5\. make everything really difficult  
> This is also a kind of lacklustre chapter w/ slow pacing but I wanted to set up everything first so the plot doesn't get completely screwed over later  
> I also realised this isn't so much an AU, more just like a series of "what if" questions answered in a fic.  
> p.s. hi, momo, nice of you to gatecrash.

“I will.” 

Her words burned bright in the lifeless air, so heavy they were almost tangible. He couldn’t look away from her. It was as if for a single moment, everything was frozen. 

“Play it again, Yuzu.” Her voice was soft but warm. Feeling as if he was in a dream, he raised his hand and began to play. The melody danced through the frigid air, and for a moment Yuzu could almost see every note as a sphere of light. Even though the sky was grey, the scene was bathed in colour. This feeling...it was one he had grasped at for so long. One he hadn’t been able to reach in years. When Yuzu reached the end of the first part, he inhaled deeply and glanced at his music, at the notes scribbled roughly and in haste. His father would have been disappointed at the disjointed music, but right now, Yuzu couldn’t care less. This was the song that had first brought him into the world of music for real, to the attention and admiration of others. But for Yuzu, this song had never had anything to do with talent or grasping the attention of people. It was purely to express the joy he had felt about music. He looked up at Nino and saw that her eyes were closed. Her face was turned towards the sky, and her hands were outstretched, almost as if she was about to embrace someone. Her smile was the single most beautiful thing Yuzu had ever seen.

“Alice…” He breathed. She turned to look at him, and nodded.

“Keep playing, Yuzu.” Nino urged him, turning to face him. “The continuation – I want to hear it.” She was so straightforward, seeming to be unconscious of her actions and words. And yet...Yuzu couldn’t deny he found it interesting. He raised his hand and played the next note with all his might. Nino’s eyes widened for a moment and as he played the next few notes, her voice became louder and filled with emotion. She was singing  _his_ song, with all her might, like she was trying to reach someone with this melody. His chest ached, but it was filled with some kind of exhilarating feeling that made his heart beat faster. Unconsciously, he opened his mouth and began to sing. His voice joined Nino’s and their two voices intertwined, soaring into the grey sky. Finally, he reached the last note. There was some kind of emptiness that filled him when he dropped his hand. It made him want to play more, to hear more, to sing more. It made him want to write and write until his hand ached and his mind was numb. “You sang.” At Nino’s words, he was snapped out of his reverie. “This song…it’s special to you.” She closed her eyes and smiled, humming it to herself. “It’s really special. I could feel it when I started to sing.”

“Y-yeah.” He murmured, his mind going a thousand miles an hour. He had  _sung._ He hadn't sung in years, and now, without even thinking about it, his melody had poured from his mouth without him even realising. “This was the first song I ever wrote.” He began, before sighing. He didn’t want to tell her the meaning behind it. It was kind of embarrassing, revealing your deepest thoughts like that to someone –  _especially_  someone like Nino, whose smile set his heart racing. “It’s getting cold, we should go inside.” He sighed, glancing up at the lifeless sky above. 

“Haruyoshi-senpai said you wrote music!” She exclaimed. “I got to sing something you wrote! That’s so cool!” Yuzu raised an eyebrow.

“Did you hear what I just said? It’s cold –”

“Yuzu! How much else have you written? Can I hear it?” His eyes widened. She wanted to know more about his music?! His chest tightened. 

“I do.” He rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. “W-why are you so interested in my music?”

“It’s just…when I sang your song – I felt like I could do anything. I felt like…I could truly breathe for the first time.” Yuzu froze. He looked up at her and inhaled sharply when he saw her expression. Her cheeks were dusted pink, and she looked as if she was completely at peace. Yuzu reached out his hand towards her. He had reached her with his music, so now maybe he would be able to –  

“Nino.” At the unfamiliar voice, Yuzu’s head snapped to the side. Nino ran over to the owner of the voice – a tall young man with unruly waves of dark hair and glasses that were slightly lopsided. His face was impassive, and his expression gave away nothing. But Alice – Alice was beaming, filled with excitement. She seemed to have forgotten about everything else in the world except for him. "Are you ready to go?" The stranger asked, his face softening slightly as he she reached him.

“Momo!” At her joyful exclamation, Yuzu’s stomach sank. He turned his face to his guitar. Why should he care? She was interesting, and sweet, and pretty, and nice, and – it wasn’t any of his business. He ran his hand along his guitar, trying to ignore Nino’s lively chatter. He didn’t care. She was happy talking to that tall four-eyes, so it had absolutely nothing to do with him. Nothing. He glanced at them from the corner of his eye.  _Nothing!_ He didn't care, anyway.  _Yeah,_ he told himself.  _It's not like I care or anything._ He busied himself by beginning to pack up his equipment. He hadn't attracted any customers so far, so there wasn't really any point. He had just put his guitar away when a couple of children ran up to him.

“Can you play another song?!” They asked, eyes wide and shining. Yuzu’s brows drew together in confusion and he remained silent, unsure of how to respond. Someone wanted...to hear his music. They  _were_  talking to him, right? 

“W-we just heard your song!” One of them piped up. 

“Yeah!”

“It was really good!”

“You’re amazing!” They chorused, and Yuzu found himself looking away, flustered. No one had ever heard that song before, and now so many were at once. It was a rather discombobulating experience – but not one he disliked. Suddenly his lonely melody no longer seemed so lonely.

"Will you play for us?" Yuzu hesitated for a moment. He found himself looking towards Nino. She had turned to look at him, and smiled when she noticed his gaze. 

"Please, Yuzu!" Yuzu's heart thudded at her plea. He swallowed nervously and got out his guitar. His mind immediately flew to one of the gentler songs he had written. It was something that he had written back in high school, a melancholy melody that had been one of the last he had written. As he settled his guitar on his lap, he noticed the unnervingly tall young man –  _Momo_ , Nino had called him – was watching him. Yuzu resisted the urge to scowl. 

"Nino." Momo repeated. Even now he remained impassive. 

"Oh, but –" Nino may have been clinging to Momo, but her eyes were on Yuzu.  _Wait, what am I thinking?! They're probably perfectly happy together!_ He'd only just met Nino, really, and he was already thinking badly of her boyfriend. He clicked his tongue.  _Damnit, this is frustrating._ Without looking at her, Yuzu sighed and began play.

"I'll be here the same day next week. Wednesday." He couldn't look at her, too embarrassed.

"I'll be here!" She promised, and he watched silently as she and Momo walked away. Of course she would be there. She was working, right? She wouldn't be here just for him. Yuzu clicked his tongue. He continued playing and closed his eyes.  _This feeling..._ he heard exclamations and awed sighs from the children as he began to become immersed deeper into his song. 

"What's this song called? Did you write it?" He heard one of them ask. He opened his eyes and was faltered for a moment. They were clustered at his feet, their eyes fixed on him. 

"I did." He began tapping his foot to keep time. ”It's called...“ He felt his face began to warm. " _Stay_." 

“Could you sing for us again?“ This time one of the parents approached him. His eyes widened. "You have a lovely voice, is all." Feeling his hands tremble slightly, he inhaled deeply.

“ _Your melody..."_

 _Alice. No matter what it takes, I will become your friend._  
☆ ☆ ☆

"My, my, Yuzu! You're quite the celebrity." The cafe had closed for the evening and Yuzu was curled up on one of the couches nursing a steaming mug of a concoction that was less than 15% coffee. It was mainly made up of milk, Yuzu's favourite beverage and secret remedy for his small height. Yuzu had ended up staying for the rest of the day, offering help to Haruyoshi and the only other employee on the shift. Haruyoshi was moving around idly, rearranging furniture and wiping down surfaces. During  _Stay_ and following songs, Yuzu had managed to attract a small crowd. Haruyoshi's plan worked, as most of his viewers had ended up going inside to get something that would thaw them out. "All in all, a  _very_ successful business venture. I knew I could count on you! I even heard some people say they'd be sure to come back again. But of course, that was also largely due to my charm and way with words..."

"Yeah, yeah." Yuzu grumbled, sipping on his drink. "Also, I didn't see  _any_ sign of Miou or Kuro  _or_ Yana. You're a fraud." Haruyoshi merely shrugged.

"A successful one." He stuck his tongue out playfully. "Thanks for your help today, though...everyone was out and I couldn't think of anyone else to call. I didn't actually expect you to play." Yuzu groaned and rubbed his temples.

"I really should have guessed." Yuzu reached for his scarf and started when he found his neck bare. He wore a scarf so often these days that he forgot he was wearing one. "What'd I do with..." His eyes flew open. He'd given it to Alice, to stop her from catching a cold.  _Geez..._ this was troublesome. He clicked his tongue. 

"Is something wrong?" Haruyoshi laughed when Yuzu gave him a quizzical look. "You just did that thing with your tongue and you look like you're about to strangle yourself. I'm feeling a little concerned."

"I'm fine, I'm just...I...gave Alice my scarf."

"Alice?" Haruyoshi asked him curiously. Then his jaw dropped. " _Yuzu!_ Don't tell me you gave Nino-chan a nickname  _and_ your beloved muffler!"

"It's not that special." Yuzu grumbled, hiding his face behind his mug. 

"It must be love at first sight...oh, Yuzu, I'm so happy! To think you actually have a heart." Haruyoshi started wiping away a fake tear. 

"Sh-shut up!" Yuzu shot back, his face turning red. "She has a boyfriend, you creep."

"Nino-chan doesn't have a boyfriend..." Haruyoshi clutched at his chest. "She's keeping secrets from me! The horror! My dear, sweet colleague is growing up –"

"Cut the crap, Haruyoshi. That Momo guy that showed up...he came to pick her up. They looked really close, so clearly they're going out." Haruyoshi's mouth formed a perfect  _O._

"They're just childhood friends, is all, they've known each other for years and years..."

"Not helping." Yuzu rolled his eyes. Great pep talk, Haruyoshi. Really great for brightening a bad mood. 

"Sakaki-kun comes and picks her up from work, yes, so of  _course_ I asked Nino-chan for all the details...but she's told me they're just friends. So clearly there's still hope for you!"

"W-who said I was hoping for anything?!" Yuzu grabbed one of the pillows and aggressively hugged it. 

"Yuzu." Haruyoshi suddenly became serious, his voice dropping half an octave. "I saw you singing." Yuzu's heart skipped a beat, and he avoided his Haruyoshi's gaze as his friend came to sit beside him. "You barely play anymore, other than when someone asks you to. As for singing...not in years. But today, you sang with someone you'd just met, and then for a whole crowd. What happened?" Yuzu hung his head, defeated.

"I'd completely lost touch with music after dad..." Yuzu trailed off, and Haruyoshi bumped his shoulder against Yuzu's. "I started feeling like music was beginning to trap me instead of setting me free. I lost the ability to write it, but today...Haruyoshi, I finished it." He breathed. "The melody I first wrote. I wrote the continuation this afternoon."

"You wrote it all?" Haruyoshi sounded shocked. "The whole second part, after – what, years of not writing anything?"

"In less than five minutes." Haruyoshi whistled and crossed his arms over his chest. "Alice sang the first part, and suddenly...it was like I could breathe again. Everything made sense." Yuzu inhaled deeply. Alice had unlocked something inside of him, and now the floodgates had been thrown wide open. "I started playing the second part, and I...I just opened my mouth, and the notes slipped out. I didn't even realise I was singing at first. And it's all,  _all_  because of her."

"Nino-chan, hmm...interesting." Haruyoshi slung an arm around Yuzu. "Anything  _else_ I'm missing, Yuzu?"

"Haruyoshi." Yuzu's voice was soft, but filled with determination. "I've been thinking about this all evening, and...I want In No Hurry back." He felt Haruyoshi tense beside him. In No Hurry to Shout: the band Yuzu had created in high school, only to end up disbanding after he turned his back on music. It had consisted of himself, Haruyoshi, Miou and Kuro. With everyone else's sounds intermingling with his, Yuzu had felt invincible. That was until his musical ability and love for music had fallen through the floor. Make that several floors, like in a high-rise building, from penthouse to basement. 

"Yuzu, are you sure?" Haruyoshi's voice was very soft. Yuzu clenched his fist and turned towards his friend.

"Yes. But...there's just one thing."

"And what is that?"

"I want Alice to sing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another A/N – I have no faith in the way I'm portraying Nino so I'm really sorry for the bad characterisation. She's so hard to read most of the time so I'm here with my head in my hands going "what the actual hell would nino do in these situations "  
> I've tried to portray them best as I can as somewhat pre-developed characters, as this is set after high school, so I'm assuming they've had their preliminary shoujo character development. They're all semi-mature. I think. *glances suspiciously at haruyoshi* 
> 
> I feel like Nino will always be someone who is unable to express her feelings well and tends to keep her true emotions and feelings locked away. Hence, Yuzu's music makes her feel like she is able to breathe. This is really what is drawing them together here! Music sets them both free. 
> 
> Also I ended up making a lot of your lie in april references and didn't realise until I was reading over this. End Me.
> 
> Maybe I should have made this a ylia AU...WAIT no that would be too sad. 
> 
> gah these author notes are WAY too long i apologise for rambling so much


	3. Concordance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concordance - agreement or consistency.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - theme for this chapter: allegro  
> the rumour come out: does haruyoshi is gay?  
> THE GANG IS BACK TOGETHER

It was Saturday. A day that Nino wasn't working – Yuzu had checked with Miou. She worked alternating shifts on Wednesday's – in the morning one week, in the afternoon the following one. He'd decided to arrange a meeting with his friends to decide if they were willing to restart In No Hurry. Yuzu nibbled on his lip nervously. Miou had been the vocalist for the band before, and he didn't know how she would react to him volunteering Alice for the role instead. Miou could play guitar as well, so maybe...Yuzu shook his hand. There wasn't enough room for another guitar player. She was extremely talented, and would be wasted as a backup player. Yuzu groaned and rubbed his face vigorously. He halted in his tracks before turning the corner, knowing that once he did there was no going back. The cafe was closed for the employee’s collective lunch break. He'd offered to bring everyone food as a way of buying time to talk. He had only a limited amount of time, but he'd spent the last few days planning and rehearsing what he would say. Yuzu checked his phone for the time and began to tap his foot. One minute. Fifty seconds. Forty. 

He groaned and shouldered his guitar, his steps purposefully slow. He rounded the corner. No going back. He inhaled deeply, and quickened his pace.  _Here goes nothing._ He pushed open the cafe door and stepped inside. The warmth that greeted him enveloped him in a warm embrace and the smell of freshly-ground coffee and hot chocolate instantly caused him to relax. Yuzu looked around nervously for his friends, who were probably trying to politely shoo people from the premises. He spotted Yana behind the counter, who gave him a quick salute, and Miou waved vigorously from where she was putting lids onto takeaway cups when she spotted him. He was just taking a step towards the counter when he was grasped from behind in a bear hug.

"Yuzu!" Some all-too familiar voices chorused. Yuzu groaned, buckling under the weight of the two fools that decided jumping onto someone several heads shorter than them was a good idea. 

"Kuro, Haruyoshi, you're both idiots." He told them with a roll of his eyes, scrambling out from their arms. Haruyoshi winked at him while Kuro beamed and flashed him a peace sign. Haruyoshi was wearing Kuro's cat-ear beanie, and Yuzu had no doubt that the shirt Kuro was wearing belonged to Haruyoshi. Yuzu tried not to smirk. And they thought they were  _discreet_. 

"Nice shirt, Kuro." He remarked, smirking as he saw Haruyoshi's cheeks flush. He headed towards the counter where Miou was putting a little sign out on the counter that told the customers the cafe was closing. She glanced at him as he approached, sighing once he reached her. 

"Oh. You're here." She began twirling a strand of her hair around her finger.

"What's with that attitude?!" Yuzu demanded. Miou pouted and looked away. 

"Don't tell me you forgot." Yuzu raised an eyebrow at this. Forgot...what? He began to sweat nervously. Had she asked a favour of him? An errand, maybe? What had he forgotten?! She huffed at this. "My  _lunch,_ Yuzu." Yuzu heaved a sigh of relief. He'd be safe from Miou's wrath for sure now. She was often grumpy when hungry. He placed a plastic bag on the counter, its contents beginning to spill out and she started sorting through them immediately. "Kuro, Haruyoshi-senpai, lunch is here." She called, and the two appeared as if by magic. One thing was for sure, getting between his friends and food would not result in a happy ending. 

Once the cafe had cleared, they settled themselves onto the couch and armchairs and began eating. Yuzu had made sure to bring a carton of milk, as always, and was sipping on it while his friends tore into their food. 

"This is so good." Haruyoshi mumbled. "Yuzu, I forgot you could cook." The tips of Yuzu's ears warmed. 

"Thank you, Yuzucchi~" Kuro was beaming again. 

"Mhmm." Miou glanced at him and shrugged, and Yuzu held up his hands defensively. She gave him a small smile before going back to her food. Yuzu felt warm. He felt safe, and happy, and comfortable, surrounded by his friends. He guessed that this was as good of a time as any to bring up In No Hurry. He caught Haruyoshi's eye and the latter nodded, giving him a thumbs up. Yuzu cleared his throat and carefully put his milk down on the table beside him. 

"I want to bring In No Hurry back." Miou started coughing on her food and Haruyoshi leaned over to thump her back. Kuro cheered and leaned back against Haruyoshi. However, his eyes soon narrowed and Yuzu knew he was going to become serious. 

"Why the sudden change of heart?" Yuzu had expected this question. 

"You all know Arisugawa Nino, right?" They all nodded. "The other day...I came here because Haruyoshi asked me to play some stuff. I met her and she was excited when Haruyoshi said I played music." A small smile tugged at his lips. "Remember when we were kids, and I wrote my first song?"

"The one you never let us see or hear but were always really happy about?" Miou scoffed, before her face softened. "I remember."

"I didn't mean to, but I started playing the notes on my guitar. She started...singing. She was able to match the notes perfectly. And suddenly I just...I could see the next part of the melody. I wrote – I wrote the continuation." Miou's eyes widened in shock and he saw Kuro freeze. Haruyoshi draped an arm around Kuro and buried his head into Kuro's shoulder.

"Keep going, Yuzu." Haruyoshi murmured, voice muffled. 

"I started playing it. The continuation. And I started singing." Yuzu felt buoyant as he recounted the memory. Even now as the scene replayed in his mind, it was in technicolour, highlighted by golden light. 

"So it's all...returned to you?" Miou asked softly. "After so long?" Yuzu nodded. 

"I've been thinking about it, and In No Hurry – I..." Yuzu trailed off.

"You loved In No Hurry, Yuzu. We all know it." Haruyoshi told him.

"It made you really happy." Miou added.

"It made  _all_ of us really happy." Kuro chimed in. 

"So, would you be happy to...?" Yuzu bit his lip and chanced a glance at them all. All of them were smiling at him. 

"Yes." The answer was unanimous. 

☆ ☆ ☆

"Yuzu, I need to talk to you." The lunch break was over, and the friends had split, scurrying around the open the cafe again. Miou's shift had ended, however, and she caught up to Yuzu just as he was about to leave. "Walk me home?" She added hopefully, smiling once he nodded. They walked in comfortable silence for a while until suddenly an air of tension settled over them. "Yuzu." Miou stopped in her tracks. " _Yuzu._ " He turned to look at her, eyes widening slightly at the expression on her face. Miou was biting her lip, her eyes filled with determination. "Nino...she's the reason for all of this, isn't she? For you being able to write again, to sing again." 

"Yeah." There was no point telling anything but the truth. 

"When were you going to ask me about making Nino the vocalist?" Yuzu stared at the ground. If he was being honest, he hadn't wanted to ask Miou. Besides, he didn't even know if Nino would even accept. At his silence, she clenched her fists. "I love In No Hurry, Yuzu! I want to be there just as much as anyone else."

"I'm not planning to just go and replace you!"

"Let me finish! I've heard Nino sing before. Her technique is all over the place, but when she sings...I feel..." Miou took a step towards him. "I know you want to make her the vocalist, Yuzu. So here's me saying that you should. Make In No Hurry shine." Yuzu started shaking his head and she gritted her teeth again. "You need Nino. In No Hurry needs Nino if we want to go forwards. Don't make me sacrifice something like this and not go for it with all you've got!" Even though she sounded angry, Yuzu couldn't help but feel relieved. This was the Miou he knew. Strong-willed, passionate, determined...

"Alright." Yuzu nodded firmly. "It's decided." He didn't know how to put his gratitude into words so turned around and began walking again. 

"Wait up!" Miou gently punched his arm when she caught up to him. 

"Just...don't go regretting it." 

"As if. I'll make  _you_ regret it."

"You're the one who made the decision in the first place!" 

"Only because you weren't brave enough to make it yourself!"

"Whatever."

"Nerd." The comfortable silence returned. Occasionally their shoulders would brush, or they would make small talk, but they didn't need words to express their feelings. That was, until: "So, how long have you been in love with Nino?" 

"Sh-shut up! I'm not!" 

"Sure."

"I'm  _not!_ " 

"I really don't know who you think you're convincing, but it isn't me."

"I'm –"

"Save it for the judge."

" _Miou._ "

☆ ☆ ☆

 _It's Wednesday. Show time. _Yuzu pushed open the door to the cafe and stepped inside. He glanced around for any familiar faces before going up to the counter. Nino appeared from behind one of the coffee machines, her face lighting up when she saw him. She was wearing her hair coiled into two buns, a face mask, and a scarf. Was she sick? Why was she working if she was ill?

"Yuzu!" She exclaimed, voice slightly muffled. Her eyes crinkled at the corners as she smiled.

"A-Alice." He replied, knowing his face was at least pink by now. "Are you sick?" She looked confused until he he pointed to his own face. "The mask."

"Oh, no...I'm not sick." She seemed to struggle with what to say next. "It just...helps me sometimes." Her answer was pretty vague, but Yuzu didn't want to push it. His gaze drifted to the scarf. 

"Good, you're keeping warm." He told her, before he did a double-take.  _I-is that_ my  _scarf?!_ He felt the temperature of his face skyrocket. 

"Oh! This is your scarf, Yuzu. I've kept it safe. I hope you don't mind, but I've been wearing it every day since last Wednesday..." Yuzu felt like he wanted to sink into the floor. She'd been wearing it for a whole week...he'd been able to help her without realising it. "Yuzu, you're smiling really big. Did something good happen?" Yuzu's hands flew to his face. He hadn't even registered that he was smiling. 

"Oh, uhm, yeah, I guess so..." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I've written more music." He mumbled, and she leaned over the counter, eyes wide and bright. 

"Please let me hear it!" She exclaimed. 

"Aren't you working right now?" 

"I'm finishing soon." She turned to look at the clock on the wall. "I'm finishing in about twenty minutes...could you wait until then?" Her eyes were brimming with hope. Having this much emotion directed at him set Yuzu off-balance. It felt  _weird._ Not in a bad way, he supposed, but... _Gah. How am I meant to put this into words?_  That was when Yana came to his rescue, entering from the back room. He also glanced at the clock, and then approached the counter.

"You can finish early, Nino-chan. You've been working hard and there doesn't look like there's going to be any big rush like last week..." His gaze was accusatory as he looked at Yuzu, but there was the hint of a smile on his face. 

"It's ok, Yana-san, I can –"

"I insist. I'll close up." Yana patted her head. "Want me to make your usual while you go get your things?" She nodded vigorously, and Yana smiled. "Yuzu, what about you?" Yuzu scrambled to fish his wallet out of his coat pockets and nodded, while Nino gave them both a little wave and disappeared into the back room.

"Four parts milk to one part coffee, also known as Yuzu's Milky Milkness Milk Coffee coming right up." Yana tried to hold back a laugh when he saw Yuzu's dead expression. "Kidding, kidding..." He began fiddling around with equipment. "By the way, Yuzu...speaking of last Wednesday..." Yuzu began to fidget. "I had some regulars inquire about when Nino-chan and a certain young man would be singing again." Yuzu pointedly avoided Yana's gaze. "I also heard from a few little birds that you've suddenly regained the ability to write music again."

"I guess I have written a few things this week..." Yuzu mumbled, chancing a glance at Yana's face. The man's right eye was twitching. 

"And what, this just occurred over night?" 

"Not exactly..." Yuzu sighed. He was getting a little tired of retelling this story. "It was because of Nino." 

"Nino-chan, hmm..." Now Yuzu knew where Haruyoshi had picked up a few of his mannerisms from. "Does this mean anything for In No Hurry?" Trust Yana to hit the nail on the head. Yuzu made sure to keep his voice low. 

"We've decided to start up In No Hurry again."

" _What?!"_

Yana's voice rang out through the cafe. He flushed. "Nothing to worry about, everyone, forgive me for disturbing you all..." He smiled amiably for a moment before leaning closer to Yuzu. " _When_ were you planning on telling me this?" His hissed. Yuzu rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

"When we got Alice to be our vocalist." At this, Yana rested his head on the counter and groaned. "Who is  _Alice?"_ He stopped and thought about it for a moment. "What kind of name is Alice anyway – wait a moment. Alice...Arisugawa. Nino-chan. You  _know_  how I hate being kept in the dark, Yuzu. I'm no longer surprised, but instead  _extraordinarily_ pissed off."

"No, you're not. You're excited." Yuzu raised an eyebrow as he looked down at Yana, who was trying to be the poster child for betrayal and hurt. 

"Alright, you caught me." Yana straightened up and went back to making the drinks. "Am I allowed to get involved?"

"Once – and if – we get Nino on board." 

"Is Miou alright with this?" Yuzu heaved a sigh.

"It was what I wanted originally, but Miou was the one who actually brought it up and asked me to make Nino the vocalist." Yana rubbed his chin. 

"Interesting. Well –" But Yuzu never got to find out what Yana would say next. Nino hurried over, heaving a sigh when she reached them. 

"I'm sorry for taking so long! I forgot where I put my bag, and then..." She trailed off and looked between them both. "I'm sorry if I disturbed anything!" Yuzu shook his head and Yana patted her head again. 

"Don't worry about it, Nino-chan. Look, here's your drink. Yuzu, here's your...milk."

"It has coffee in it." Yuzu retorted with a scowl. "Come on, Alice." 

The cold air was a shock after the cafe's warm interior. Yuzu shivered and reached unconsciously for his scarf. He glanced over at Nino.

"Is it warm?" She blinked at him. He reached out to touch his scarf, wrapped securely around her throat. Nino nodded vigorously. 

"I'm sorry, you must have really missed it...I'll give it right back!" But he stopped her hands as they flew to the scarf.

"It's ok. Keep it on, Alice." He glanced around the empty sidewalk. "Isn't Momo coming to pick you up?"

"No, he hasn't been able to make it for my last few shifts..." She seemed really down. Yuzu clenched his jaw and tried to strengthen his resolve. 

"Do you...want to hang out for a bit?" When she looked at him in confusion, he tried to backpedal. "I just thought that maybe you'd like to hear my new song, and maybe we could go and find you a scarf or something, or..." He chanced a glance at her face. Nino's eyes were abnormally bright, and he realised her eyes were filled with tears. "A-Alice?" Had he said something wrong? "Are you ok?" She shook her head and clapped both of her hands over her face. But instead of bursting into tears, she started gasping, choking back her feelings and refusing to let her tears fall. "Alice!" He grasped her shoulders without thinking. He remembered many times when he had done the same thing. Alone in his room, trying not to disturb his mother, biting down on his lip until it bled. But it hurt, it had hurt so much...his chest ached. He couldn't bear to let her feel that way. All Yuzu could think of was the ocean, the crashing waves, soothing and carrying his emotions away. He grabbed her arm and began running, pulling her along with him. He didn't look back, just kept running, and running. Nino didn't protest. She was shaking, and Yuzu felt like if she were to fall, she would shatter. Finally he reached the ocean. He was about to head for the stairs down to the sand when Nino stopped dead. He turned to look at her. She was breathing hard, but her eyes were wide and looked...lifeless. There was no other way for Yuzu to describe it. She looked empty. Yuzu clenched his jaw.  _Damnit. I guess there's nothing else to do._ Yuzu inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. 

" _Pour out the melody within you: all your love, hopes, and lies. Yell it out, let it resound!_ " 

Yuzu pulled her closer as he began to sing. This was his new song, the one he had pored over, marvelling at the way the notes had overflown from within him. He had spent so long wondering how she would react, and now...the only backing music he had was the roar of the ocean behind them. This wasn't the way he had planned to present this melody, but if could help Nino, even if it was only a little bit...

_I felt like…I could truly breathe for the first time._

Her voice echoed throughout his mind. She wasn't breathing now, she sounded like she was gasping for air, barely able to get oxygen into her lungs.  _I'll help you breathe, Alice. Just listen to me, please._

" _I'll yell and the memories within me will overflow: my past, future and lies._ " She began to tremble and he begin to sing louder, with all his might. " _So yell it out! Pray for it!"_  Her gasping became worse, and Yuzu clicked his tongue.  _Alice! Listen to me, listen to my voice!_ She began to sink to the ground and he followed, supporting her so that she didn't hit the ground. Nino's face collided with his chest and Yuzu clutched her arms. Suddenly a scream was torn from her throat. Yuzu froze. She was screaming uncontrollably, like her heart was being ripped out of her chest. Yuzu inhaled deeply once more. He wanted to sing. He wanted to use his music to reach her. " _Let your tears dry, then start running!_ " His own voice nearly began a scream itself as he threw the words into the air. Finally her screaming stopped, but she was still coiled as tense as an unsprung spring. " _Sand beneath your feet, voices flapping their wings! Swallowed up by the waves, all the sounds and me_." Yuzu's chest was heaving almost as much as Nino's, but as he closed his eyes, he only felt light. He had put so much emotion into those words, and he felt...free. 

"Alice." He murmured, pulling away from her. Nino slowly lifted her head, and Yuzu's face softened. Her eyes and cheeks were red, and she had tears still rolling down her cheeks. He didn't feel flustered or uneasy, only calm. All of his worries had been thrown into the air with his song. He began to gently wipe away her tears before he settled his hands on her shoulders. "Are you alright now?" Nino took a deep breath and reached up, pulling her face mask down to her chin. 

"Yuzu, you saved me." She whispered. "Your song...you saved me again." Yuzu's brows drew together in confusion.

"Again...?" He queried. 

"Before...when I went home that day...I sang your melody. I told you I felt like I could breathe." She closed her eyes, and her face relaxed. She no longer looked like she was struggling to suppress painful feelings. "Just now – all I could do was scream, like I always have. But your voice reached me and I felt like I could breathe again." 

"Alice..." Yuzu brushed some of her loose hair out of her face while trying not to avert his gaze. He was beginning to get flustered again, but looking away now would be weird.  _I reached her. I really reached her!_ "That was actually my new song. The one I've been working on. I don't have many of the lyrics worked out yet, but..." Her eyes snapped open and her face gave away her surprise.

"I love your music, Yuzu." Her hands were lying limp in her lap but she curled them into fists. "I'm so sorry, Yuzu..." Her voice trembled. "We were talking about something so happily, and then I just...went and ruined it." Her voice broke with emotion. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Yuzu asked softly. Nino shook her head vigorously. "Alright, but don't bottle it up like that again." A small smile tugged at Nino's lips.

"I have your music now, Yuzu. I think I'll be ok next time." Yuzu remained concerned. "Hey, Yuzu...?" Nino's voice was very soft. "Could we go and do something? I don't want to go home right now." Yuzu had gotten the message, loud and clear. He scrambled to his feet, blowing his fringe out of his eyes. 

"Let's go, Alice." He offered his hand to her. She reached up and grasped his hand, and her face brightened.

_Finally, you truly smiled._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – I was 3000 words in and had gotten up to the big rising action, and then:  
> me: wait why is nino upset again  
> me: ok it should be because of momo  
> me: wait. what did momo even DO  
> It's so frustrating because it would have been so easy just to make momo act like a douchebag like in canon but in this storyline he never left so it doesn't make sense for him to act like a jerk to Nino and also I care about Momo too so I can't just ruin his character!!! GAH!!! 
> 
> anyway tune in next chapter for "what did momo even do" or "was it even momo's fault at all"
> 
> At the beginning of this I'd thought of a cool title and I told myself 'alriiiight, i'm gonna find a super cool naming theme for chapters.' However, picture me now sobbing on the ground, clutching a dictionary, whispering "what are words".
> 
> I love the dynamics between Yuzu and his oldest friends, it's really fun to write about. 
> 
> also!! if you read the manga, you will see just how cute Kuro and Haruyoshi are. Also both of them get backstories and you get to know tons more about Kuro. In the anime it was kind of just like: "hi my name is kuro, i'm comedic relief and i have no backstory". I like how he's usually so cheery and funny and then: BADAM!! serious kuro mode activated 
> 
> i haven't written something for fun in so long and now i'm writing so much and it honestly feels great – i've written several thousand words and it's only been a few days!! it's an achievement 
> 
> I wanted to put in allegro lyrics because I listened to it on repeat while writing this chapter but right now some of high school's lyrics make more sense in the situation. 
> 
> also sorry again for the long notes at the end of chapters ;w; i just have a lot of feelings


	4. Tacenda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tacenda - the things which are better left unsaid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – theme for this chapter: high school  
> Nino now joins In No Hurry and Yuzu and Nino bond over scarves!! I LOVE them so much.  
> Also I dont know if anyone even ships kuroyoshi apart from me but...have a dose of it  
> Also serious Kuro. Hell yeah. Appreciate serious Kuro!!!  
> This chapter kind of gives more depth to the subplot about Yuzu's dad we had in the anime  
> Also I tried to link in the whole theme of "hiding your true feelings" because these kiddos still can't get their emotions together

“I don’t know which one to choose.” Nino was desperately looking back and forth between multiple different scarves, all draped over Yuzu’s outstretched arms and around his neck.

“Why am _I_ being the model, here? You’re the one meant to be getting a scarf.” Yuzu complained, tilting his head back. He felt like a scarecrow, and his arms were getting tired. Was Alice really this indecisive about everything? She continued to _uhm_ and _ah_ over each scarf, until she whirled around and went back to the racks. “Can I put my arms down yet?” Yuzu asked, but his request fell on deaf ears. He may have seemed exasperated, but internally he was glowing. Nino may not have been back to her usual self but she was genuinely more relaxed and was fully invested in the search for a scarf. Yuzu had already gained a wealth of information about her and had tucked it safely into his mind. Yuzu liked soft things and wouldn’t be able to resist reaching out and touching something if it looked fuzzy. She liked patterns and things with pictures on them, things that caught her eye, and she always took the time to look at something if it was related to stars or the moon.

When he’d asked her why she liked them so much, her eyes had become downcast and she’d murmured, _‘because of the time I spent looking at them with Momo’._ Yuzu’s gut had twisted, but it was still a part of Nino that he had continued to think about. Did she like singing _Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star?_ Did she have a lot of star-themed items? Had she ever thought about going to the moon? But whenever he’d opened his mouth to ask something, the words had caught in his throat. Her sudden gasp pulled him from his thoughts and he looked over to her, concerned.

“Alice?” Nino hurried back to him, something clutched in her hands. “Alice…?” He repeated, unsure. Her eyes were shining. _Is this going to have something to do with Momo?_ He clicked his tongue. _I don’t want to hear it._ But he steeled himself for it anyway.

“Yuzu, Yuzu, this would be perfect for you! As soon as I saw it, I thought of you!” She handed him a relatively plain black scarf. As he took it in his hands, he noted how incredibly soft it was. The hem caught his eye. On either end, a staff, complete with notes, was sewn. Wordlessly, he coiled it around his neck. Nino was looking at him hopefully, her eyes still shining. Yuzu’s hand flew to his face and he looked away, flustered.

“I-it’s really nice.” He told her, and looked back at her just in time to see her smile. Yuzu couldn’t help but feel some sense of triumph. _He_ had managed to make her smile, all on his own. That was something, right?

“Yuzu, you should buy it!” She told him enthusiastically.

“Nino, weren’t we supposed to be getting _you_ a scarf?” Then his eyes settled on his own scarf, still securely wrapped around Nino’s neck. He sighed, gathering his courage. “H-hey, Alice…” She tilted her head to one side. “If I get this one, you could…you could keep mine, if you wanted. I know you probably wouldn’t to or anything but I thought –”

“Yes!” The strength in her voice surprised him, shocking him into silence. Nino put her hand to the scarf around her throat. “I feel like...you’re with me when I wear it. It’s comforting.” Yuzu was speechless. His heart had begun to pound, and he knew if he tried to speak, his words would be nothing more than unintelligible mishmash. Instead of replying he marched over to the counter and bought the scarf Nino had chosen for him. He knew that whenever he wore this scarf, he would think of Nino. Yuzu felt that, little by little, he was building a bridge across to her.

He learned many other things about Alice that afternoon. She had stared longingly at a store selling negima, and the look on her face as she had eaten it was one of pure bliss. Whenever they came across someone busking, Nino would stop and would not budge until they finished playing their song. Sometimes she would ask questions in her straightforward, serious manner that cut right through, leaving nothing unsaid. Nino had put her mask back on and seemed to prefer to stick to the outskirts of large groups of people. As their time together grew longer, she grew closer to him until they were walking so close together that their shoulders touched. Finally they decided it was time to head home, and began heading to the train station. They were nearly there when Nino let out a soft cry and threw herself to her knees.

“Alice!” Yuzu exclaimed. She turned around and _shhhhh_ ed him, her eyes wide. “What’s wrong?” He whispered, and she grabbed his wrist and pulled him forwards.

“ _Look_.” She murmured, and he had to strain to hear her voice. It was a small black kitten, curled up in a cardboard box that had been shoved carelessly into a bush. She turned to him, her eyes wide. “Yuzu, what are we going to do?” She was despairing. “We can’t just leave it here!”

“Can you take him home?” He asked curiously, and she shook her head.

“My relatives are staying for a few weeks and one of them is really allergic to cats. She goes on about it forever.” Yuzu rubbed the back of his head. _You’re so talkative and so passionate now. How were you screaming like that before?_ But he couldn’t afford to dwell on it now. He shoved the thoughts from his mind. Yuzu thought of his empty apartment, which his mother barely seemed to inhabit. The long nights of being in a place so silent and dark it felt like a cemetery. Yuzu peered down at the cat, who was staring back at him. It’s back was arched, but it didn’t look angry. More…unsure, and suspicious. Yuzu bit back a grin. For a moment, he was reminded of himself. He thought about Nino, and how she could be so impulsive and spontaneous. Yuzu, on the other hand, tended to not do anything too risky. He was scared to.

“I’ll take him home with me.” He rushed the words, saying them quickly so that he wouldn’t have to change his mind. He looked over at Nino. He wanted to be more like her. More open, and ready to throw himself into things, to take every chance and grasp at it. She beamed at him, and all the tension seeped out of her.

“Thank you, Yuzu!” Yuzu swallowed nervously and returned his attention to the cat. He’d never been allowed to have a pet. When he was younger, he’d begged his parents for one, but to no avail. Yuzu slowly reached his palm out towards the frightened creature, his hand shaking slightly. He kept his palm open and his fingers down. He expected it to bite or hiss at him, but to his shock it sniffed his hand and then nuzzled against it.

“Yuzu, you’re amazing. Maybe it can sense that you also drink milk.” Nino told him earnestly, and Yuzu sighed. Was _this_ what he was going to be remembered for? With great care, Yuzu curled his hands around the little bundle of fur and lifted it out of the box. The kitten stared out at the world through amber eyes. Yuzu couldn’t believe that it was so calm and gentle. He turned to look at Nino, who was busy cooing softly at the kitten.

“Hey, Alice.” She looked up at him and tilted her head to one side, as she so often did when confused. “Let’s go home.”

☆ ☆ ☆

They’d decided that they couldn’t really take the kitten on the train, and Nino had insisted on not getting the train as well. Her stop was before his, but _still._ Yuzu smiled to himself. It was such an Alice thing to do. They walked along in comfortable, only broken by an occasional _meow_ from the kitten. Yuzu suddenly noticed that Alice had started humming. Yuzu’s eyes widened and he inhaled sharply as he realised it was the song he had sung to her before.

“Hey, Yuzu.” Nino’s voice broke the silence eventually. “What’s that song called? The one you sang to me earlier?” Yuzu rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

“I don’t really know yet.” Suddenly a light bulb moment struck him. “Do you want to listen to it?” Nino nodded vigorously, and he carefully passed her the kitten while he fished out his phone and earbuds. He put one of them into her ear, and the other into his own, hoping that maybe he’d think of a title on the whim. He pressed play and anxiously watched Nino’s face, hoping to see her reaction.

“It’s amazing.” She murmured, beginning to nod her head along to beat. She began following the notes as she had the first day he had met her. “Did you write the instrumental part as well?”

“Yeah.” He watched as her eyes widened. “Alice.” He waited until he had her full attention. “I wrote this for a band named In No Hurry To Shout. I compose for them and I’m a guitarist in the band, and…” She opened her mouth to reply but he shook his head. “I want you to be our vocalist, Alice. Your voice is the one. I know it is.” He clenched his hands into fists. “Please, Alice.”

“So I’ll get to sing your songs?” Her eyes were wide.

“Yeah. Haruyoshi and Kuro are also part of –” But he trailed off. Nino looked like she was about to cry but she was beaming.

“I will!”

☆ ☆ ☆

“I’m home.” His voice echoed throughout the quiet apartment. His mother wasn’t at home, of course. She had barely spent any time with him after his father’s death. He suspected he reminded her to much of his father, a prominent composer who had brought Yuzu into the world of music. His father had been the one to teach him how to play the piano. Yuzu knew his mother blamed music for his father’s death, though he had never understood why. Then there had been his own illness. He’d very nearly lost his voice and had been warned about straining his voice. Yuzu absentmindedly touched his throat. If he’d sung like he had for Alice when he’d been sick, he probably would have lost the ability to sing. But…if it had saved her like it had done earlier that day, he would have done it regardless of the risk. He flicked the light switch on and heard the kitten’s _meow_ of distress at the sudden change in lighting. “Sorry, buddy.” He nibbled on his lip. He hadn’t really thought this through. Maybe he should have brought the box with him… _Yuzu, you idiot._ He chastised himself. He began hunting around the apartment for something to keep the kitten in.

Finally he stumbled upon an empty washing basket, and gave himself a mental pat on the back. He gently set the kitten into it and carried it back to his room. That done, he then went and collected towels and a spare blanket. He began to make a little nest around the kitten, who just sat there and looked at him. It was…a strange cat. It reminded him of Nino – unexpected, serious, cute…his cheeks warmed. “Gah!” He slapped his cheeks, and the kitten shifted away from him. “Sorry, sorry…it’s just…you saw what she’s like.” Yuzu felt like a warm blanket had settled over him. It was almost like…having a friend stay with him. He reached out and stroked the kitten’s forehead. “You really need a name.” Suddenly his phone began to ring – “I’m going to _kill_ Haruyoshi.” He muttered as the ringtone blared. He put the phone to his ear.

“Hi, it’s Yuzu.”

“Yuzu!” Nino’s voice nearly blew out his eardrums. “Yuzu!” They’d swapped numbers before parting ways, with Nino promising that she’d call him to

“Alice?”

“I thought of a name for our kitten!” She told him excitedly, but Yuzu’s brain had zeroed in in the _‘our’._

“R-really?” If it had something to do with Momo…

“Midnight!” Yuzu sighed with relief and then looked down at the kitten.

“Do you like that, Midnight?” He asked the kitten, who _meowed_ at him.

“How is he?” She asked, and he could imagine her clutching her phone, face deadly serious.

“He’s good. I set up a place for him to sleep and he seems pretty happy.”

“That’s great! And your parents didn’t mind?” Yuzu’s shoulders slumped.

“No.” He muttered.

“Maybe Midnight could be our mascot!” He was grateful for the distraction.

“Mascot for what?” He asked, his brows drawing together.

“In No Hurry!” Yuzu’s heart thumped. So she was really serious about the band, huh? Yuzu smiled a little and kneeled down to stroke Midnight’s head. His mind was now on his mother. “Are you alright, Yuzu?” Nino asked, and Yuzu clenched his fist.

_I have to hide my true feelings._

☆ ☆ ☆

“What about _‘High School’_?” Miou’s voice came over the speaker. “You start out the song by talking about a high school setting, and it feels like a song a rebellious teenager would write.”

“Are you saying I was a rebellious teenager?” Yuzu shot back.

“Still are.” Miou retorted, sounding bored. “But still…it’s a good song.”

“Thanks, Miou.” A note of relief entered Yuzu’s voice.

"And think about it. It sounds like something that'd really appeal to that demographic. Plus...I can tell you wrote about it thinking back to high school." Miou continued. "Whenever I listen to it, it really takes me back."

“Alright, _High School_ it is." Yuzu sounded excited. "Make sure you tell Kuro, Haruyoshi.” Haruyoshi nodded as he held back a yawn and rubbed his eyes.

“Sure thing.” It was the end of a busy day for him, and Miou and Yuzu had declared a group call to discuss ‘Super Secret In No Hurry Stuff’. Haruyoshi couldn’t believe they were both so uncreative when it didn’t come to music. They’d spent about an hour helping Yuzu finish the lyrics and polish the instrumental, with Kuro chipping in, and had sent it off to Yana to look over.

“So when are we thinking of rehearsing?” Haruyoshi asked, massaging his temples. He had a _really_ bad headache coming along. “And…” He trailed off, thinking of Miou’s replacement.

“Haruyoshi wants to know if you got Nino to be the new vocalist.” Miou sighed. “Haruyoshi, I told you I’m fine with it.” But no matter how many times she said that, Haruyoshi knew she wasn’t.

“I did.” Yuzu said the words in a rush, sounding excited. Haruyoshi knew it would be another blow to Miou, and he clenched his jaw. Yet…he couldn’t bring himself to completely disagree with Yuzu’s decision. He liked Nino, after all, and viewed her as a friend. She was hardworking and had an interesting voice, and put her everything into something she cared about. For In No Hurry to advance forwards, Nino was clearly the better choice in terms of opportunity, but…he didn’t want to think of it logically. He wanted the old In No Hurry back, the one with just the four of them, as it had always been. “Also I have…news.” Haruyoshi raised an eyebrow.

“You finally stopped drinking milk?” Miou asked, and Yuzu groaned.

“No.”

“You finally stopped being short?” She asked sweetly.

“Hey!” Yuzu sounded grumpy now. “I’m not short, I’m just…”

“You’re short.”

“Very short.” Haruyoshi chimed in, and Yuzu clicked his tongue in annoyance.

“Will you stop it?! I got a cat! That’s the news!”

“A cat?” Haruyoshi was curious now. “Where and why did _you_ get a cat?”

“I found it. With Alice.” Of course it was with Nino. He wondered how Miou was feeling. She’d known Yuzu for years and then within a few days Nino had already become incredibly close to Yuzu. “He’s named Midnight. Alice thought he could be our mascot.” Haruyoshi couldn’t help but laugh at that. “I’ll tell you guys what Yana says and then we can organise a rehearsal timetable.” Yuzu’s voice took on an edge. “Things are about to get interesting.” Yuzu told them.

“I haven’t heard you this excited in years.” Haruyoshi rested his chin upon his hand. _Who knew all it took was meeting Nino to spark life in you again?_

“I’m ready to give In No Hurry all I’ve got. Talk to you soon.” Yuzu hung up, but Haruyoshi hadn’t missed the determination in his voice. Yuzu was stubborn, hard-headed, and loud at times, but when he put his mind to something…there was no stopping him.

“Are you still there, Miou?” He asked, and she gave a noise of assent. “Do you still like Yuzu?” He asked softly. Miou laughed.

“What a way to ask. You don’t waste any time, do you?” But she didn’t sound annoyed. “But to answer your question: no. I moved on.” He breathed a sigh of relief. “Were you really _that_ worried about me?” She snorted, and he could imagine her shaking her head and smiling. “Thanks for looking out for me.”

“I always will. You’re a handful, after all.” She groaned, and Haruyoshi smiled.

“Well…see you then.”

“Yeah.” He sighed, still unable to shake the feeling that she was hiding something from him. “See you.” Miou had always been one to hide her feelings, and he had never truly been able to get through to her or see what she was really thinking. It was so frustrating.

“Aw…did I miss them?” Kuro’s voice sounded from behind him.

“Just.” Haruyoshi told him, turning around. Kuro's hair was still damp, and he looked sleepy. Kuro flashed him a grin and ran his fingers through his hair. "Cute." Haruyoshi murmured without thinking. “Cold! I meant – you must be cold.” _That made no sense, great going._ He chastised himself as Kuro’s grin widened.  

"Shower's free." Kuro told him, stifling a yawn. It suddenly occurred to Haruyoshi that Kuro wasn't wearing a shirt and he cleared his throat, looking away nervously. It didn't matter that Kuro was half-naked, no, he didn't care at all, it didn't matter – 

"Haru." Kuro's voice came from right in his ear, sending shivers down his spine. Kuro draped his arms around Haruyoshi, resting his chin on the latter's shoulder. "I'm sleepy." 

"And not wearing a shirt. You'll catch a cold." Haruyoshi retorted somewhat weakly, turning so that he was hugging the drummer. Kuro radiated heat, like a hot water bottle, and Haruyoshi told himself that the  _only_ reason he was giving Kuro a prolonged hug was because he was cold.  _Freezing,_ in fact. "Don't make me carry you." He mumbled, and Kuro began to laugh, burying his head into the crook of Haruyoshi's neck. 

"You know you want to." Kuro teased, and Haruyoshi pouted. He did want to. He wouldn't, though. He would keep himself contained, somehow, and hide his true feelings. However now that Kuro was his roommate, it was even harder. They'd known each other for years, since elementary school, and had been best friends since the very start. In middle school, they'd grown close to Yuzu and Miou once the four had formed In No Hurry. In high school, they'd remained close, despite In No Hurry's end. They'd helped each other with their love troubles: Haruyoshi had been in love with Miou, who had feelings for Yuzu, and Kuro had fallen for his older brother's fiancée. In time those feelings had faded, for Haruyoshi at least – only to be replaced by new, stronger feelings, for none other than his best friend. Haruyoshi knew he wouldn't ever be able to reveal his feelings, not without risking his friendship with Kuro. But it was hard when Kuro was always in his personal space, being cuddly and gentle, wearing his shirts, teasing and being cute and...everything Haruyoshi found hard to deal with. “How did things work out?” Kuro’s breath tickled his skin, and Haruyoshi inhaled sharply.

“Well. Quite well.” Haruyoshi cleared his throat nervously. “The song’s name is _High School._ ”

“Ooooooh. I like that.” Kuro nodded appraisingly. “So I guess all that’s left to do is to hear back from Yana.”

“Kuro.” Haruyoshi felt like he was frozen in place. "Do you ever like someone who's so close to you it hurts?" The words slipped from his mouth before he could stop them. Kuro wrapped an arm around him. 

"I lived with my brother's fiancée, who I liked, remember?" Kuro murmured. "That hurt. She was so close, and was so inconsiderate of my feelings – not purposely, but still." Kuro laughed, but it was tinged with bitterness. "She was so close, but I couldn't ever tell her anything. Until I did something  _really_ stupid, but let's not go there." 

"Is that the reason you decided to move in with me?" Haruyoshi couldn't stop himself. Kuro pulled away from him then and stared at him, searching his face for answers. 

"No. Well, maybe partially. But definitely, _definitely_ not the whole reason. You're my best friend! Of course I'd want to live with you and spend time with you." For some reason, the kind words stung.  _Best friend._ Haruyoshi sighed and ran his hand through his hair. It was best he kept it that way. 

"I'm going to bed." He left Kuro standing in the middle of the room. Kuro stared after him, hurt and confused. 

"No, wait!" Kuro hurried after him, putting a grin onto his face. "I'm sorry I brought her up, I probably made you sad...you hate when romance novels go badly, don't you?" Haruyoshi didn't feel like he could respond without letting his feelings slip out. "Is this about the person that you like? Let's talk about it, I'll help you out! You know how popular I can be~" His desperate attempt at normalcy grated on Haruyoshi, who just closed his door firmly behind him. Kuro began knocking on the door. "Haru..." His voice was softer now, filled with concern. "Haru, please let me in."

"No." 

"Haru –"

"I said  _no!_ " Haruyoshi threw himself onto his bed. He could deal with this. He'd dealt with having feelings for Miou, being unable to show how he truly felt because of how much she liked Yuzu. If he could deal with that, then he  _had_ to deal with this. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm down. But his feelings for Miou could never have matched what he felt for Kuro. That was what made it even harder. He felt like he was going to explode from the feelings within him.  _I like you._ He wanted to say.  _I love you. I'm not joking around._ But he could he just imagine Kuro's look of disgust. There was no way he could say those words. There was silence. 

"I'm not going anywhere." Kuro's voice was stronger this time. "You're acting strange. I'm  _worried_ about you. I can't just leave you –" 

"It's not even worth you worrying about." 

"I doubt that. I'm coming in." Kuro opened the door and made his way inside. "Haru, what was that about?" Haruyoshi hid his face in his pillow, suddenly feeling exhausted. All the energy seeped from his body and he curled into a ball. "Are you sick or something?" Kuro's voice lost its edge as he reached Haruyoshi. "Don't ignore me, please." He reached down and put his hand on Haruyoshi's forehead. "Well, you haven't got a fever..." The bed dipped as Kuro sat down on it. "Hey, talk to me."

"I'm sorry." Haruyoshi's voice was muffled. "I got a bit overexcited." 

"Are you mad at me?" He looked up at Kuro and vigorously shook his head.

"Of course not!"

"Was it what I said about moving in with you?" 

"No, definitely not."

"Then what's up? We're best friends, I want to know what's wrong so I can help." Kuro explained, beginning to stroke his hair. Haruyoshi was too tired to try and laugh and make a joke about how Kuro was being motherly. 

"I like someone who will never like me back." Kuro nodded in assent. 

"So  _that's_ why you were asking about that before. Looks like we're in the same boat." The drummer told him with a sigh. Haruyoshi's heart plummeted. So now he  _really_ had no chance. Kuro liked someone else. Someone he probably loved dearly. And now Kuro wouldn’t even get to be _happy_ with them? It was unfair.

"How long have you liked them for?" Trying to sound interested was proving to be extremely hard. Kuro rubbed his chin.

"A while, I think. I just hadn't realised." Kuro flopped back onto Haruyoshi's bed and groaned. "It's so frustrating, 'cause I spend so much time with them but can't say anything."

"You, too?" Haruyoshi felt slightly better. At least Kuro could empathise with him. "Good luck, Kuro."

"Yeah, you too." Kuro's voice had lost its usual spark of energy. Haruyoshi sat up and turned to look at his friend, who was sprawled upon his bed. Kuro looked...drained. Haruyoshi's heart twisted. He hated seeing Kuro sad. Kuro was upbeat, silly, lively and full of energy. He was also serious, considerate, and observant. But when he was unhappy, Haruyoshi felt terrible. He sighed held his arms out. Gratitude filled Kuro's face as he wrapped his arms around Haruyoshi. 

"And you've always got me. I mean, I've been third wheel far too many times. You'll have to take me on a date one day as compensation." He tried brightening the mood and Kuro chuckled weakly, his grip tightening on Haruyoshi’s shirt. Haruyoshi squeezed his eyes closed, relieved that Kuro couldn’t see the pain on his face. 

_I have to hide my true feelings._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - did you like the reference I did with Midnight? Seeing as a black cat is In No Hurry's symbol.
> 
> I did some research on throat disorders and stuff and the only logical things I could find were nodules or polyps, or even tumours. The first two are caused by abusing the voice so I can see why Yuzu would have lost the ability to sing after screaming for Alice right when he was probably at the worst stage. Also it explains why Yuzu’s mother doesn’t want him near music, because in the case of nodules or polyps, that’s how he would have had the problems in the first place, really. But yeah I don't reaaally know


	5. Novaturient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Novaturient - desiring or seeking powerful change in one's life, behavior, or situation.
> 
> theme for this chapter: canaria

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN SO LONG I'M SORRY  
> School just started back and uhhh I've been so busy  
> This is another filler chapter I'm sorry  
> I do like writing from Haruyoshi's perspective. I feel like it's good to get another perspective on things sometimes  
> enjoy!!

****Another cold winter’s day. The sky was devoid of colour, and the sea seemed as lifeless as the sky above. There were two splashes of colour on the beach, ambling along the shore. Two people whose lives had become inexplicably intertwined. Occasionally Nino’s shoulder would brush Yuzu’s, and he felt like little sparks few at every slight contact. Nino stopped and sat down on the sand, staring out at the horizon with eyes as empty as the sea. She still had her mask on, and every so often she would reach up and touch the scarf which was wound around her neck – Yuzu’s scarf. Yuzu stopped in his tracks and turned to her. She hadn’t been screaming the last few weeks, and seemed to have some moments of happiness, but she still wasn’t right. He’d overheard regulars at Yana’s café asking Haruyoshi and Miou in hushed voices if she was alright, hadn’t missed the way her co-workers were treating her with great care. He’d asked Miou about Nino, trying to search for some sort of answer, but she hadn’t been able to tell him much. Even seeing Midnight hadn’t seemed to improve Nino’s mood much. It was like she was a bird that had just realised it could never leave its cage. It realised it was imprisoned, with no way out. Yuzu’s stomach twisted as he watched her. He clicked his tongue. _I can’t just sit around and do nothing._ He couldn’t give up, not when it came to Nino.

“Are you ever going to tell me what’s wrong?” His voice cut through the air like a knife through warm butter. Nino froze and dropped her head, refusing to look at him. “You told me that your mask helps you.” No answer. “I asked Miou about it. She said that since elementary school you’d barely take it off. Eventually you started to not wear it, but now – you haven’t taken it off in ages. That means something’s _really_ wrong.” He watched her, trying to gage a response, but she just wrapped her arms around her legs. Yuzu sighed and tilted his head back to look at the sky. “That’s what I think, anyway. Something’s really wrong, Alice.” Nino clenched her hands into fists. He’d seen right through her. “Is it something to do with Momo?” His voice was very soft. Nino’s breath hitched and she hid her face in her arms.

“Yes.” Her response was barely more than a whisper. “H-he said…” She inhaled deeply. “He said that – that he didn’t want to talk to me. That he wanted…nothing to do with me _._ ” Yuzu’s eyes widened in shock. Nino was trembling now, her voice breaking as she curled her arms even tighter around herself. “I don’t know what I’m meant to do! I’ve never been without Momo! I don’t know what to do without him!” Her voice suddenly rose in volume and Yuzu clenched his jaw. It was like Momo was a comfort blanket for Nino, keeping her cocooned in a warm bubble that kept the rest of the world out. Yuzu couldn’t fathom why that overprotective four-eyes would push Nino away so harshly, but what he _did_ know was that this was unhealthy. He knew how bad it was to become so strongly dependent on one thing for stability. If that single thing were to be ripped from your grasp, then you would be left incapacitated. Just like he had been without music. Just like Nino was now. He clenched his jaw. He didn’t know how he was going to get through to her, but he _had_ to.  

“Alice.” Yuzu didn’t want to touch her in case he made her feel overwhelmed. “Listen to me, focus on my voice. Don’t think about Momo. Stop thinking about him.”

“But I _can’t.”_ She sounded broken. “I can’t. I can’t do it, I can’t, it’s impossible.” Her breathing was becoming ragged.

“It’s not!” He reached out towards her, but then curled his hand into a fist and let his arm drop to his side. “Alice, listen to me. _Listen._ ” She finally looked up, turning her tear-filled eyes to him. “I lost the ability to play music. Music was everything to me. Music was all I could think about. I lived and breathed music.” Her painful expression twisted into one of disbelief. He knew he had her attention now.

“Yuzu…” He couldn’t stop the words flowing from him now, carrying his emotions like a tumultuous river.

“Then one day it was gone. Just like that. I couldn’t sing. Writing music was painful and near impossible. It was like someone had stolen music from me. But if I’d let myself be so held back, then I wouldn’t…” His voice stuttered. He’d never really thought about it before. If it wasn’t for his friends, pushing him forwards, onto new things, being there to support him…where would he have been without music? “But then I met you, and suddenly…” He reached out and grasped her shoulder. “I could sing again. Because of you, I found my voice again.” He got to his feet and looked up at the sky. “I –” His voice caught in his throat. _I owe you everything._ “I know music helps you too. So I’ll keep writing songs for you. Maybe if you sing them, you’ll feel better.” _Maybe if you sing them, you’ll forget about Momo._ He knew just how selfish he sounded. Knew how hopeless this plight was. But still, he couldn’t afford to give up. Even though he’d only known Nino for a short amount of time, he felt drawn to her. In just moments, she had filled his vision and thoughts. He reached out a hand to her and when she took it, she gripped his hand tightly. He pulled her to her feet and she swayed a little, not meeting his eyes.

“Why?” She sounded lost. Yuzu’s heart twisted as he took in her expression. Tears were still rolling down her cheeks, and her bottom lip was quivering. Without realising what he was doing, Yuzu reached out and brushed her tears away. She looked at him then, and he jerked away. _You can’t run away now!_ He told himself firmly.

“I want to help you.” He found his gaze being drawn to the sky once again. He had to keep looking up. That was something he had had to learn. “You’re my voice. It’s because of you that music has come back to me.”

“Will you really write for me?” She still sounded unsure, but her voice was stable and she was no longer shaking. Yuzu even wanted to believe that he saw hope flicker in her eyes.

“Yes.” Yuzu inhaled deeply. “It won’t bring Momo back.” She flinched at the brutal honesty. “But I want to help you.” _You’re like a trapped bird, Alice. You may love your cage, but it’s still hurting you. You’re still being held back._ He had to free her, somehow. Maybe, just maybe, his music would be the key. _I want you to spread your wings and fly. I want you to be free._

☆ ☆ ☆

“I haven’t seen Yuzu this invested in anything since we very first started In No Hurry.” Haruyoshi told Miou as they watched Yuzu rush around the room, a strange light in his eyes. Yuzu looked… _alive._ Really alive. It was like a fire had been lit within him. He couldn’t seem to sit still.  

“I’ve missed this Yuzu.” Miou murmured. Haruyoshi glanced at her sharply, not missing how her face had softened as she watched Yuzu. It was almost like Haruyoshi could hear her unspoken words. _‘This was the Yuzu I fell for’._ Haruyoshi got to his feet as he felt his stomach twisted. “Yuzu,” he called. He had to repeat himself a few times to get his friend’s attention, and heard Miou’s snort of laughter from behind him. “When did you say Nino was going to get here? You’ve been running around for what seems like an hour now.”

“I had to have everything ready!” Yuzu shot back defensively. “She’ll be here soon. Are you and Kuro ready? Are you ready, Miou?” He was like a general directing his troops. Haruyoshi stretched and ambled over to his guitar.

“Alright, alright.” He picked up his guitar and began to tune, but his mind was still preoccupied. That was when Kuro stuck his head through the studio door.

“Ninocchi just arrived!” Kuro gave Yuzu a thumbs up, who perked up like an excited puppy. Kuro began padding over towards his drum kit but stopped at Haruyoshi’s side.

“You ok?” He leaned in close, and his breath tickled Haruyoshi’s neck. Haruyoshi felt like his body had suddenly been lit on fire. He was hyperaware of every single movement, every breath…he swallowed hard and tried to avoid Kuro’s gaze.

“I’m fine. Why’d you ask?”

“You just look kinda worried about something.” Kuro didn’t seem entirely convinced at his forced nonchalance. Haruyoshi wanted to bury his head into Kuro’s shoulder and wrap his arms around the drummer. He wanted to reach out to his friend, but at the same time he knew he couldn’t. Everything was in place now, and he didn’t want anyone to worry about _him._ Miou and Kuro had plenty of their own worries, and Yuzu was buzzing with anxiety about Nino’s reaction to In No Hurry.

“Don’t worry.” He could see Kuro out of his peripheral vision, desperately trying to get Haruyoshi to look at him, but the guitarist knew if he did that he would lose his composure. He pulled away from Kuro, a signal for his friend to move on. Kuro rested a hand on Haruyoshi’s shoulder, but his hand lingered. The warmth of Kuro’s palm radiated through Haruyoshi’s shirt, and the latter knew his muscles were tense and taught. Kuro squeezed his shoulder, seeming reluctant to let go. He heard Kuro sigh softly before the drummer went to settle himself into his seat. Haruyoshi could feel Kuro’s gaze burning into him, but he refused to turn around. That was when the door began to creep open.  

_Showtime._

“Alice!” Yuzu exclaimed, before coughing into his hand. “I – I mean – you’re just in time.” As Nino looked around the room, Haruyoshi watched her carefully. She still seemed a little subdued, and she was still wearing her mask. But as she drank everything in, her eyes grew rounder and rounder. She gazed around at the four friends, and suddenly she clapped her hands together, rocking forwards onto the tips of her toes.

“This is like a dream.” She announced, and Haruyoshi heard Kuro and Miou chuckle.

“Hopefully not a bad one.” Miou told her. Haruyoshi couldn’t hear any animosity in her tone, and he felt his shoulders begin to relax. “Welcome to In No Hurry, Nino.”

“Alice.” Haruyoshi’s gaze snapped over to Yuzu. Yuzu’s face had become deadly serious. Haruyoshi caught Miou’s eye and began to position his hands on his guitar, knowing Kuro would be getting prepared. “Listen.” At Yuzu’s words, Miou began to play, and Haruyoshi glanced over at her. _Interesting._ So it was Miou who had taken the first step forwards after all. She had always been their driving force. Haruyoshi closed his eyes tightly. So many memories were suddenly coming rushing back. Yuzu standing in front of him, gesturing excitedly to sheet music clutched in his hand. Miou practicing singing. Kuro grinning at him as he finally mastered a difficult drum solo. Meeting Nino for the first time – _wait._ His brows drew together. When had Nino crept to the forefront of his mind?

 _“I’ll flap my wings!”_ He heard Yuzu yell, and his eyes flew open. He found Nino standing before them, looking as if a breeze had just swept over her. His fingers flew over the strings of his guitar effortlessly, and he found himself getting sucked into Yuzu’s music. It was always like this. No matter what, Yuzu’s melodies would always clutch him in their embrace and he would lose himself in the swirling streams of sound. Suddenly Yuzu inhaled deeply, and he began to sing.

 _“Whether I’m awake or asleep I will sing, because I’m just like a canary.”_ There was so much raw emotion in Yuzu’s voice that Haruyoshi’s heart twisted within his chest and he sucked in a sharp breath. Yuzu was not holding back. It was like he had thrown off all the chains that had once bound him. He looked over at his friend and found that Yuzu was staring straight out. Straight at Nino. Behind the lyrics, there was something deeper that he felt within Yuzu’s singing. _Please reach her._ Yuzu’s emotions were so clear they were almost tangible. Haruyoshi chanced a glance at Nino, who was standing as if transfixed. Her eyes were fixed on Yuzu.

 _“All I need is to sing and that alone makes me lovely!”_ Nino’s hands rose to her face. _Is she going to cry?_ Haruyoshi wondered. He saw movement from his peripheral vision and saw Miou glaring at him. At the same time, he realised Kuro had begun playing slightly louder. Haruyoshi hadn’t even realised he’d been running away with the music. Usually he was so careful, able to match any tempo the singer chose…he closed his eyes briefly. _Focus, Haruyoshi._ Yuzu’s music always undid him like this. _“All I need is to sing, and that alone makes me invincible!”_ He opened his eyes just in time to see Nino rip the mask from her face. It seemed Yuzu’s music had stirred her as well. He felt a glimmer of pride run through him. Music could reach anyone, could touch anyone’s heart. The last notes left Yuzu’s throat and Haruyoshi turned his head and caught Miou’s eye. It seemed a good place to end. As his fingers finally left the strings of his guitar, Haruyoshi felt a sense of loss. He wanted to keep playing. He wanted to keep this sound alive. He smiled to himself then. _Finally,_ In No Hurry was back. He’d been waiting for this moment for years – hell, he hadn’t even been sure it would ever have been revived. Yuzu was panting slightly, and Haruyoshi saw Yuzu raise his fingers to his throat.

“Yuzu?” He murmured. If Yuzu had damaged his voice, after all this time – but Yuzu smiled at him. A small, genuine smile that filled Haruyoshi with nostalgia.

“I’m okay. It just…feels different. In a good way.” Yuzu’s attention was instantly drawn back to Nino and he hurried over to her. The two began talking, voices raised in excitement. They were both so quiet, and it was rare to see them being vocal about their feelings. It was like the world had been turned on his head. It was different. But as Yuzu had said…it was different in a good way. Haruyoshi felt someone nudge his shoulder and looked down to see Miou staring at the pair with a small smile.

“Did you see her face?” Miou murmured. “Did you see _Yuzu?”_ Her smile grew. “I can’t even bring myself to be sad about anything now.”

“I know what you mean.” He replied softly. He was imagining crowds of people, their faces lit up like Nino’s had just been. But more than anything, he knew there was no stopping Yuzu now. He had a reason to write, to play again. That song had been for Nino, Haruyoshi knew that without the shadow of a doubt. Suddenly the door opened again. It was Yana, and he was clapping.

“Well, well, well. Somehow, despite not playing for years, you’re better than ever.”

“You were listening?!” No one could miss Yuzu’s embarrassment.

“You already sent me the demo, but I wanted to hear it in person.” Yana ran his fingers through his hair and turned to Nino. “So, are you in? Yuzu told me he wanted you to be the vocalist.” At this, Nino’s cheeks reddened. Haruyoshi’s eyes narrowed. Maybe he was just imagining it. Yuzu turned to Nino, holding his breath.

“Yes.” She nodded, and then clenched her fists. “No matter what, I want to sing.”

_It’s time for us to take off running._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:  
> I REALLY want to focus on a theme of moving on, I guess? I want to focus on how it's better sometimes to let go and move on. I feel like Nino is slowly getting there (................mainly in the manga) but let's speed it up  
> I still need to figure out what Momo actually freaking did  
> I'm probably not meant to tell you guys that because I'm meant to have everything planned out...yes...  
> Updates will be slowish but they shouldn't be more than 2 weeks now, I'm going to get back into this now because I am DETERMINED to finish this. Hold me to it please  
> My tumblr is @starchild6 if you wanna talk about yuzunino/fukumenkei (will mainly be me crying)  
> Anyway!! I hope you guys are enjoying this mess of pacing and filler have a great day


	6. Saudade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saudade - a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Basically Nino starts to realise that her heart is beginning to be swayed  
> also...intermittent not only describes the plot, but my uploading, ability to characterise, and the speed of the plot. hahA why am i so bad at everything i'm sorry

Nino’s phone buzzed, and she jumped to her feet, scrambling over to it. “Momo?!” She exclaimed, before checking the screen and seeing that it was Miou who had messaged her. She couldn’t help but deflate a little. It had been weeks since she’d talked to Momo, and he’d flat out ignored her whenever she saw him and had tried to speak to him. She was still hoping that he would send her a message apologising, asking to see her…her phone vibrated again. Another one? Nino’s brows drew together and she opened her messages, curious.

 **Miou:** Nino, can I ask a favour?

 **Miou:** it’s kinda urgent

Nino hurried to reply, becoming concerned about her friend.

 **You:** what’s wrong are you ok?

 **Miou:** yeah I’m fine

 **Miou:** it’s Yuzu

 **Miou:** he’s really sick and has a high fever, and his parents are never home

 **Miou:** I was going to check in on him but I have a long shift today, same with Haruyoshi and Kuro

 **Miou:** you’re the only one who’s free

 **Miou:** so could you look after him today?

The messages all came in quick succession, and Nino felt concern well up in her. Her mother always took care of her when she was sick, and if her mother was working, Nino had always had Momo. It sounded like Yuzu was pretty unwell, too…she barely thought about the decision at all.

 **You:** I’ll go over there right now

 **Miou:** nino…it’s only 9am, I think he’ll survive for another couple hours if you’re busy

 **You:** it’s ok

 **You:** I’ll look after him

 **You:** you can count on me

 **Miou:** っゝω・)っ～☆

 **Miou:** thank youuu, I’ll text you the address

 

Nino smiled to herself and jumped to her feet. She looked around her room, lapsing into thought. What would she need to look after a sick person? She nibbled on her bottom lip. She grabbed a duffle bag and went around her room, stuffing things into it. Her headphones, CDs, her cherished childhood plushie…Nino’s mother stuck her head through the door, her eyebrows raising in confusion.

“Nino, where are you going?”

“My friend is sick. I’m going to take care of him.” Nino explained, and her mother nodded in understanding.

“Tell Momo to take care…” At this, Nino’s heart throbbed and she looked down at her feet and her mother trailed off, face crumpling in sympathy. Nino’s chest felt uncomfortably tight and she bit her lip to hold back her feelings. “Well, anyway…how about I give you my soup recipe? The one I always make for you when you’re sick?” Her mother placed a hand on Nino’s shoulder, bringing her back to reality. Nino’s face brightened at the distraction and she nodded. “How about you come with me to get the ingredients?” Nino inhaled deeply and looked over at her mother, hr heart twisting at the concern she saw.

“Okay.” She straightened and pushed her shoulders back. “Let’s go.”  

In the end, Nino’s mother had helped her pack some more things, seeming relieved at the prospect that Nino had friends outside of Momo. As a result, Nino’s duffle bag had been stuffed full of supplies. As they left the corner store, Nino had begun to grow distant again. She couldn’t help it. Her mind always ended up going back to Momo – it had become a habit, more than anything.

“So…” Her mother began, sounding unsure of how to break the silence. “What’s your friend like?” Nino glanced over at her mother, yes widening as she scrambled to form a respond.

“His name is Yuzu. I met him at work.” She felt tension seep out of her shoulders. “He…” She bit her lip, the tightness in her chest beginning to loosen. “He wrote me a song.” A vivid memory flashed through her mind. The four friends had looked at each other and had taken a collective breath. Suddenly, the room had filled with sound. It had washed over her, grabbed her, sucked her in, had held her. And all that she could see was Yuzu. Yuzu, his eyes fixed on hers, head thrown back as he sang the chorus, his fingers racing over the strings of his guitar. Nino found herself forgetting about Momo once more, her thoughts wholly on her new friends. “He’s important to me.” Her mother was staring at her in shock. Nino found herself feeling the way. She’d never found it easy to express her feelings like that – and for the words to fall so easily from her throat…it felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. As the mother-daughter duo parted ways, Nino’s mother had pulled her in for a hug and had patted her cheek, murmuring, _“I know you’ll take good care of your friend, Nino”,_ leaving her brimming with confidence and a little excitement. Nino couldn’t wait to see Midnight again. She’d never been to Yuzu’s house, either. It was kind of like an adventure. She checked the message she had open on her screen, and inhaled deeply before taking a large step forwards. For some reason, she felt like something within her had shifted. She felt…lighter. Her steps began to be accompanied by a little bounce. She reached up and touched the scarf wound around her neck, smiling as she did so. Yuzu’s scarf…it was comforting, and whenever she put it on her mind would unconsciously be drawn to Yuzu. She felt her heart skip a beat as she thought of the gentle smile he sometimes gave her. Nino’s brows drew together in confusion as she realised her cheeks were warm. She reached up to touch her forehead. Maybe she was getting sick, too.

☆ ☆ ☆ 

Nino stood outside Yuzu’s door, anticipation rising within her. She raised her hand and knocked, but to her surprise the door was already open and slightly ajar. Confused, she pushed the door open and stepped inside, shutting the door behind her. The apartment was pitch black and Nino blinked rapidly, her eyes slowly adjusting to the gloom. “Yuzu?” There was no response. She reached for the wall behind her, running her hands along it in search of a light switch. She was relieved when she finally found one, and wasted no time in turning the lights on. She looked around the room, desperately searching for Yuzu. Her heart twisted and she froze as she saw him, crumpled on the ground, unmoving. “Yuzu!” The frantic cry was ripped from her lips. She rushed to him and knelt down next to him, putting her hand to his forehead. He was burning up but he was shivering like he was in the middle of a snowstorm. His lips were dry and his face was ashen. “Yuzu?!” She was terrified now. If she hadn’t come, he would have been all alone. Her stomach dropped as she thought about how long he might have been lying here. She gently pulled him towards her, settling his head on her lap. His eyelids fluttered, and her heart rose into her mouth. “Yuzu, Yuzu, can you hear me?” She called. His eyes opened, unfocused at first, but cleared as he stared up at her.

“Nino…?” He began struggling to sit up, but she gently pushed him back down. For some reason, when he’d said her name, her heart…it had skipped a beat again.

“You’re really sick, Yuzu.” She waited a moment before helping him to sit up. He leaned against her shoulder, his face falling into the crook of her neck. His warm breath tickled her neck and she found herself losing her composure. Trying to get a grip on herself, she rummaged in her bag and pulled out a bottle of water. “Here.” He took it gratefully and, with some difficulty, opened it and began to drink. He leaned back on his hands, still looking dazed.

“Why are you here?” He murmured, his voice hoarse. Nino looked down at her hands.

“Miou told me you were sick and that no one was around to look after you, so I decided to come over.” She told him. “I’m…really glad I came.” She faltered on her words, thinking of how lifeless he’d looked when she’d found him.

“Me too.” She looked over at him and found him giving her a small, gentle smile. For some reason her stomach flipped and she put her hand to her chest as her heart began to beat faster. Maybe her worry was getting to her. “Are you okay?” Yuzu’s voice was filled with concern.

“Y-yeah.” She murmured, suddenly finding it hard to maintain eye contact with him. As silence lapsed over them, Nino began to feel restless. “U-uhm – I brought some things for you!” She exclaimed, and Yuzu’s eyebrows raised. “To help you get better.” She finished lamely, before scrambling to her feet. “You’d better lie down.” She instructed.

“Alright, alright.” He struggled to his knees before his breath left him in a rush. Nino felt her concern return abruptly and she reached down to him. It reminded her of the many times she’d been crouched on the ground, feeling helpless, and he’d offered her his hand. He hesitated at first, his cheeks going pink, before he reached up and grasped her hands. Nino had never realised what delicate hands Yuzu had. He’d probably protest the adjective if she ever told him that, but…they were the hands of a musician. Realising that she had lingered for far too long, Nino hurried to pull him to his feet, steadying him as he began to sway. “My room’s just there.” He pointed to the only open door in the apartment. Carefully and with determination, they made it to Yuzu’s room. Yuzu fumbled for the light switch for a moment and suddenly the room was bathed in a soft golden light. Yuzu let go of her shoulder and made his way over to his bed, sitting down on the edge with a sigh. He suddenly laughed, and he began lifting up his pillows. “Look, Alice.” She crept closer and gasped, her face lighting up. There was Midnight, curled up on Yuzu’s bed. “You can hold him.” Yuzu carefully picked up the kitten, who yawned, and deposited him into Nino’s arms. Nino made a sound of delight. The kitten’s coat was soft as velvet. She began stroking him and he began to purr, nuzzling her hands. Yuzu lay down and Nino tore her attention away from Midnight. She carefully placed Midnight onto Yuzu’s bed.

“Wait there.” She told Yuzu, whose brows drew together in confusion.

Nino returned with her bag, a damp cloth, and determination. She placed the cloth on Yuzu’s head and began unpacking her things. Yuzu watched her, bemused, as she unloaded her bag.

“H-how long are you planning to stay?” He asked weakly, and Nino giggled. She bit her lip when she pulled out her cat plushie, feeling foolish now for bringing it now. “That’s really cute.” Yuzu remarked, and she looked over to see him pointing to said plushie. “It looks just like Midnight.” She breathed a sigh of relief, and relaxed.

“I…” She still felt a little silly. “Named it after my favourite song.”

“Twinkle, twinkle, little star, right?” Nino’s eyebrows rose. She couldn’t remember ever telling him that. “You sing it a lot.” Yuzu explained, seeing her expression. “It’s –” he suddenly broke off and coughed into his hand, suddenly avoiding her gaze. “A-anyway.” He cleared his throat. “Did you call it Star?” Nino nodded enthusiastically, and Yuzu looked away, his cheeks pink. Nino thought he muttered something under his breath, but it didn’t reach her ears.

“I thought Star could keep you company.” She explained, suddenly feeling self-conscious. This wasn’t something she’d done when Momo was sick, so she had no idea how he would react. Maybe Yuzu would laugh at her, maybe he’d find it dumb –

“R-really?” He asked, his face lighting up. “I’m…really lucky.” Nino felt a smile spread across her face. She reached up took her mask off before handing Yuzu the plushie. Yuzu hugged it to his chest and once more avoided looking at her. “A-Alice…” He began. “You – uh, you look…” He hid his face behind Twinkle Twinkle. “I like seeing your smile.” He murmured, and Nino’s eyes widened. “Y-your smile…” He trailed off, before inhaling deeply. “I really like your smile.” He finished softly, and Nino felt confusion rise within her again as she felt her cheeks begin to warm. She’d only ever felt like this because of Momo. It had only ever been Momo that made her heart race, it had only ever been Momo to make her smile so wide that her cheeks hurt. What did this even mean? She was sure that she was still in love with Momo. She had always been certain that these feelings would never change.

Maybe she was getting sick too. Yeah, that had to be it. Right? _Right?_ She wondered, unable to tear her eyes away from Yuzu.

☆ ☆ ☆

It was late evening, and the aromatic smell of soup drifted through the usually lifeless apartment. Nino swayed back and forth as she stirred the soup, her gentle singing swept throughout the apartment, a melody she now knew well. Yuzu’s song. The one thing that had begun to set her free. She hadn’t felt the need to put her mask on for the rest of the day. While Yuzu had slept, she dusted around the apartment and had tried to brighten up the place. It was perfectly tidy, but it looked and felt like it was barely lived in. She’d played with Midnight and had done some voice exercises, and had even managed a nap herself. But she’d spent most of her time by Yuzu’s side. His fever had alleviated after she’d given him fluids and medicine, but by the afternoon it had worsened. Yuzu had been tossing and turning, sweating and shivering in turns. Luckily, though, she’d managed to get it under control. She’d left Yuzu sleeping peacefully, clutching her plushie. It felt…good, in a way, to be needed like this. To feel important. To feel like she was able to make someone’s day better. To be of use. She heard soft, shuffling footsteps behind her and turned to see Yuzu. He was looking a lot better, and finally had some colour in his face. She couldn’t help but smile when she saw that he was wearing the scarf she’d picked out for him.

“Your technique is a lot better.” Yuzu told her. “Your abdominal breathing has improved a lot.” A note of pride entered his voice and she nodded enthusiastically.

“It’s so much easier to sing higher notes now!” She replied excitedly.

“Right?” He nodded, his eyes lighting up. “And you can hold notes for longer.”

“And project more.”

“And not get breathless as easy.”

“And sing stronger.” She added, finding herself beginning to smile already. It was…refreshing, to talk about music like this. To not just be told that she was good, but to feel like she could improve, and to know that she was making progress. It was an exhilarating feeling.

“You’ve been practicing really hard.” Yuzu told her, pride now clearly evident in his voice. A comfortable silence settled between them.  Yuzu padded over and rummaged around for a spoon before heading to the soup and trying some. “Woah!” His eyes widened. “This is so good.” Nino smiled and turned the gas off, removing the pot from the stove.

“It’s my mother’s recipe.” She murmured as their shoulders brushed. Their proximity made her stomach flip and she found her eyes began to travel over his profile. She could see the way his eyelashes cast the slightest shadow on his cheeks. The mole under his eye. The way he pouted when he lapsed into thought. His eyes, that reminded her so much of the ocean.

“Yuzu, who do you like?” She found the words tumbling from her lips before she could stop them. He inhaled sharply and froze next to her. He slowly turned his face towards her, avoiding eye contact at first. His fingers curled gently around Nino’s wrist and he swallowed before his eyes flicked up to meet hers.

“Take a guess.” His soft voice sent heat rushing to her cheeks.

“I don’t know.” At Nino’s reply, a faint smile tugged at his lips.

“Well, then, who do _you_ like?” He looked away briefly before locking his gaze with hers. For some reason, Nino found herself hesitating, which caught her off guard. Before she would have instantly replied _“Momo!”,_ with a smile on her face. But her words stuck in her throat. _I…don’t know anymore._ She realised, eyes widening in shock. For as long as she could remember her answer had always been concrete: _Momo._ It had always and only been Momo by her side, filling her vision and occupying her thoughts and her heart. But now that was wavering. She and Momo had never dated, even though Nino had wished for it for a long time. Now…she didn’t know if she really wanted that anymore.

“I – I don’t know.” Her words surprised her. She saw Yuzu’s eyes widen.

“What about Momo?” Yuzu’s words were rushed, and Nino looked away. Her own words felt like daggers stabbing into her. Why had Momo slipped away from her? It was unfair. It hurt that he’d pushed her away, despite promising he’d always be there for her. She still didn’t know the reason, either, and it made her head hurt thinking about it. So, what about Momo? Nino bit her lip.

“I don’t know anymore.” Her voice was very soft. Yuzu took a step towards her and wrapped his arms around her, and she relaxed.

“I’m sorry.” He murmured, and she hid her face in his neck, trying to contain the sudden tempest of emotions within her chest. Yuzu’s skin was hot, his hair tickled her face and his breath tickled her skin. The proximity was a new sort of feeling. She’d only ever really hugged her parents and Miou. Not even Momo, really. Yuzu inhaled deeply, a single shuddering breath, and then hugged her tightly. “It’s okay, Nino.” Her heart clenched at the use of her first name. The way he said her name, so carefully, like he was both overjoyed and scared to use it…her heart thumped. “It’s okay.” Suddenly an impatient _meow_ sounded from below her and Yuzu let go of her, leaning down to pick up Midnight. “Sorry, sorry.” He gently stroked Midnight’s forehead before turning to look up at her with a small smile. He rose to his feet with Midnight in his arms, his smile widening. “Hey, Alice?” He asked, burying his face in Midnight’s fur. “Maybe you’ll find out who I like soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: this was meant to be slow-burn but i can't deal with slow-burn i just want it to HAPPEN already  
> i mean it's been...what, 6 chapters??? is that acceptable???  
> obligatory "taking care of each other" scene  
> idk what i'm doing anymore i'm so sorry i need to get it together if i ever want to finish this. my writing is deteriorating so badly geez. but!!! i just realised i'm nearly at 20k words so maybe...something will occur at 20k we'll see  
> also i've started writing another haruyoshi/kuro scene so get prepared folks  
> if you wanna talk to be about yuzunino my tumblr is @ starchild6  
> anyway!!! i hope you enjoyed this chapter


	7. Paroxysm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paroxysm - a sudden attack or outburst of a particular emotion or activity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theme for this chapter: noise
> 
> A/N: I FINALLY HAVE FINISHED MY EXAMS I AM FREE  
> i have been so stressed so smashed this out in a Very short space of time so a) it sucks b) angst is the easiest thing for me to write c) i promise the next one will be both better and happier!!  
> i'm really tired right now so this is probably going to be 90% inelligble

Haruyoshi threw himself onto the couch and groaned, rubbing his tired eyes wearily. Working two jobs got to him sometimes, particularly when both shifts were busy. It wasn’t the easiest of things to deal with. He pulled out his phone and opened his messages. He remembered that Miou had told him she was going to look after Yuzu. Their practice had been cancelled last night because Yuzu had called in sick. He’d sounded terrible over the phone, but Haruyoshi felt relieved that Miou had volunteered to look after him. Miou was good at taking care of people.

 

> **You:** how’s Yuzu?
> 
> **Miou:** idk ask Nino
> 
> **You:** aren’t you the one looking after him?

Haruyoshi began nibbling on his bottom lip. Since when did Miou relinquish time spent with Yuzu?

 

> **Miou:** I asked Nino to look after him
> 
> **Miou:** it took her 0.001 seconds to say yes
> 
> **Miou:** she’s been keeping me updated
> 
> **Miou:** also I was working so I couldn’t look after him
> 
> **You:** I thought you had the day off

His eyes narrowed in suspicion. Something was up.

 

> **You:** did you ask for another shift?
> 
> **Miou:** well…yeah
> 
> **You:** are you avoiding your feelings again?
> 
> **Miou:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> **Miou:** you bet
> 
> **You:** Miou…
> 
> **Miou:** you’re no better
> 
> **Miou:** stop worrying about me though please
> 
> **Miou:** I’m ENDORSING Nino and Yuzu
> 
> **You:** is that healthy?

Haruyoshi shook his head and stretched, muttering under his breath about _kids these days_ and _bad, bad life choices._

 

> **Miou:** it’s about time I get over him
> 
> **Miou:** I know it’s the best option
> 
> **Miou:** besides, I might have my eye on someone else
> 
> **You:** if it’s me, don’t hold back ;)
> 
> **Miou:** ew no
> 
> **Miou:** besides, don’t you have kuro to worry about? 

He couldn’t help but smile at that. Typical Miou, refusing to be dragged down, determined to keep going.

 

> **You:** (ಥ﹏ಥ) 
> 
> **Miou:** so…it’s not going very well, huh?
> 
> **You:** what do you think?
> 
> **You:** it’s so hard
> 
> **Miou:** hey
> 
> **MIou:** if you need anything
> 
> **Miou:** you know I’m here, right?
> 
> **You:** ☆*･゜ﾟ･*\\(^O^)/*･゜ﾟ･*☆
> 
> **You:** Miouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
> 
> **Miou:** _stop_
> 
> **Miou:** anyway
> 
> **Miou:** nino sent me a bunch of pictures
> 
> **Miou:** they’re so cute...
> 
> **Miou:** i literally can't be sad at all now
> 
> **Miou:** <attachment>

Haruyoshi watched as the photos loaded. There was one of Yuzu sleeping with his kitten curled up next to him, another one of Midnight stretched out on Yuzu's pillow, one of Nino and Yuzu taking a selfie, cheeks pressed together, one where they were sharing a scarf…Haruyoshi couldn’t help but smile. That was definitely like Nino. There was also one of a sleepy-looking Yuzu smiling gently at the camera. Haruyoshi pursed his lip in thought. He hadn’t seen Yuzu make that sort of face in a while. He felt another smile spread across his face. If Yuzu was happy, then he was happy. Plus, he finally felt that Miou was being more genuine with him. He was about to probe Miou for some more information Kuro padded into the room. Haruyoshi looked up at him and smiled tiredly. No matter how many times he saw Kuro, his heart would always feel like it was doing a somersault. Even if he tried to ignore it, he couldn’t deny how much Kuro affected him.

“Hey,” he murmured, and Kuro frowned, putting his hand to Haruyoshi’s forehead. Haruyoshi resisted the temptation to lean into the touch.

“Hopefully you’re not catching what Yuzu has.” Kuro flopped down next to him and slung his arm around Haruyoshi, who leaned against his shoulder, inhaling deeply. “Long shift?” Kuro asked, concern creeping into his voice.

“Mhmm.” Haruyoshi murmured, suddenly feeling tired. Kuro began to card his fingers through Haruyoshi’s hair, and Haruyoshi felt himself unconsciously relax. He turned and buried his head in the crook of Kuro’s neck and heard his friend’s sharp intake of breath.

“Kuro?” He murmured, lips brushing against Kuro’s skin. Kuro shuddered and Haruyoshi sat up, eyes narrowing in concern. “Kuro?” He repeated, brows drawing together. His friend was avoiding eye contact, leg jiggling up and down. Kuro had been acting strange around him lately, and Haruyoshi had begun to worry that it was because of him. “What’s wrong?” He pulled away from Kuro, watching him with growing confusion.

“Nothing, nothing.” Kuro flashed him a smile, but Haruyoshi could see through it easily.

“ _Kuro._ ” Haruyoshi put a hand on his shoulder. “What’s –“

“It’s you.” Kuro interjected, and Haruyoshi’s heart skipped a beat. Not in a light, happy way. A terror-inducing, stomach-sinking feeling washed over him. “Without meaning to, everything you do makes things so…so difficult.” Kuro smiled bitterly, painfully. “I’m sorry. I’m really gross.” Kuro got to his feet.

“Wait.” Haruyoshi felt nauseous, like he was about to faint. “Wait, Kuro.” His voice sounded like it belonged to a stranger. _Please, please, don’t let this fall apart._ He stumbled to his feet, desperately reaching after his friend, the person he held dearest to his heart. “I like you.” The words fled from his throat before he could stop them. Kuro stopped dead and turned around to look at him, frozen. Haruyoshi realised, with a thrilling shock of horror, what he’d just done. Kuro’s eyes were wide and his mouth was hanging slightly open. Haruyoshi felt his chest tighten, and another wave of nausea rushed over him. He did the only thing he could think of – flee. It was what he always did. Even though he acted confident, put on an almost impeccable façade, it was all just that – a lie. In the end, he had always ended up running. From his feelings, from himself, from conflict. He rushed past Kuro and disappeared out the door, his heart aching. He ran until his legs burned and he felt like he was going to pass out. Bending over to try and catch his breath, he dug his phone out of his pocket. Miou. He had to call Miou. The one person he could trust with everything right now. He stared at his screen in shock.

_20 missed calls._

His phone screen was filled with notifications.

 

> **Kuro** **♡:** Where are you?
> 
> **Kuro** **♡:** I’m really worried
> 
> **Kuro** **♡:** Come back
> 
> **Kuro** **♡:** Are you ok? Please call me
> 
> **Kuro** **♡:** It’s been ages
> 
> **Kuro** **♡:** Are you ignoring me? Please don’t, I want to talk
> 
> **Kuro** **♡:** Please Haru
> 
> **Kuro** **♡:** Come home

Biting his lip, Haruyoshi tilted his head back and looked up at the cloudy sky. With every word that had met his eyes, the more everything hurt. The sky above seemed as hopeless and bleak as he felt. He stuffed his phone back into his pocket, remembering the look of absolute shock on Kuro’s face. He knew Kuro hated him now. Probably found him disgusting.

 _‘I’m gross.’_ Kuro’s words flashed through his mind suddenly. What could his friend have possibly have meant by that? If anything, Haruyoshi felt he best deserved to be called gross. But just what had Kuro meant?

☆ ☆ ☆

Yuzu was beaming. Ever since he’d gotten sick – it was a few weeks ago now – he and Nino had been growing irrevocably closer. He’d started walking her to work, and she’d regularly been coming to In No Hurry’s practice sessions, slowly taking over Miou’s role of lead singer. Nino’s voice, which had already been full of impact, had only continued to improve. Now she skipped from note to note with ease, and was able to pull off some of the harder sections of songs. Yuzu couldn’t imagine how his life could be going any better. Even the weather was becoming warmer. Today he was walking with Nino to the café, a spring in his step. Nino turned to him and smiled.

“You’re so happy, Yuzu.” Her smile widened and her eyes crinkled at the corners. “It makes me happy too!” She wasn’t wearing her mask today. She’d begun relying on it less and less the past few weeks, and her mood was steadily getting better as the days went on. Their hands brushed, and Yuzu’s heart thudded. He bit down on his lip to stop a huge grin from spreading across his face.

The pair rounded the corner, and that was when Nino stopped dead. Yuzu looked over at her in concern, only to find her staring straight ahead, eyes wide. He followed her gaze, and he felt the pit of his stomach drop. All of the happiness from the last few weeks suddenly came crashing down around him. Standing outside of the café, staring directly at them, at _Nino,_ was Momo. Yuzu looked back at Nino, only to find her eyes filling with tears. “ _Momo.”_ She whispered, and Yuzu curled his hands into fists, his nails biting into his palms. “Momo!” She yelled, suddenly coming to life. Yuzu stared hopelessly after her as she began running towards Momo. Unconsciously he reached out one of his hands towards her back, trying to reach her. She  reached Momo’s side and his arm fell limp to his side. All he could do was stare. He felt his feet begin to move again, his movements slow and jerky, like he’d forgotten how to use his body. He was within earshot of them now. Nino had thrown her arms around Momo, who was hugging her back tightly, his face buried in her hair.

“ _Nino._ ” He was repeating her name over and over, as if in shock. Yuzu felt numb. He felt like he was in a dream. It was like the last few months had never happened, like she’d forgotten he was there. All she could think about was Momo. It was always, always like this, wasn’t it? He was always second best. No matter what, Momo would always matter more to her. Yuzu’s eyes burned, and his skin prickled uncomfortably. His chest felt too tight, like chains were clamped around his torso.

Yuzu watched as Momo drew back from Nino, gently holding her by the shoulders, looking into her eyes. He watched as Nino’s face softened, her smile gentle and full of affection. He watched the two childhood friends, until Momo finally began to speak again. “Nino, go out with me.” At this, Yuzu felt as if he’d been punched in the stomach. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be real. He took a single step forwards and then felt something within him snap. He turned around and took off running without looking back. He didn’t register where he was going. All he knew was that his chest hurt, his heart, his eyes were burning, _burning,_ and it was like his world had been turned on its head.

He returned to his senses when his feet hit the sand and the smell of the ocean hit him. He blinked a few times and dashed tears out of his eyes, staring out to sea. It seemed he’d come to the ocean without even realising it, like he always did. He made his way closer to the roaring waves, letting the pounding of water against the sand fill his ears, washing away Momo’s words, swallowing up Nino’s cry of _Momo!_ He closed his eyes, letting the ocean’s muddy stream of sound wash away his pain.

_A muddy stream of sound…_

Yuzu’s eyes flew open and he dropped to his knees. A melody was rushing through his head, filling his mind, overflowing from his fingers. He could hear it as if it was being played aloud before him, capturing his senses and drawing him into its embrace. He began to draw a music staff in the sand before filling it with notes. The lines were clumsy and some blurred together, but still legible. This was where he’d written his first melody. His father had been there then. Yuzu sighed deeply, his mind beginning to wander.

_“Look, Kanade.” He peered up at a smiling face, framed by sunlight. “Look at the ocean.” He turned to stare out at the sea, his eyes widening. His heart thumped. “Can you hear it?” His hand rose to his chest. For a moment, he thought he could see golden bubbles of light._

_“La la la…” The melody left his throat before he even realised it. He stopped in surprise and looked back at the man beside him._

_“Yes, Kanade!” There was pride in the man’s voice and he ruffled the hair on Yuzu’s head. “Let it flow through you.” Yuzu gripped his shirt tightly and inhaled deeply. “Don’t think too hard. Let it come to you.”_

_“La, la la, la la…” Yuzu felt a smile spread across his face. “I can feel it!” He exclaimed, his eyes wide. “It’s like…”_

_“It’s a part of you.” His father finished, his smile softening. “I’m glad you understand, Kanade.” He picked up a piece of driftwood and began dragging it through the sand. Yuzu stared at him in curiosity, watching as his father drew lines in the sand. Finally his father stepped back and grinned at him. “Look!” There was a childish excitement in his eyes, and Yuzu gasped in delight. A music staff was laid out in the sand before him. He grasped a smaller piece of driftwood and hurried to put the notes of his melody onto the staff. His father watched him fondly. “Never let go of this gift of yours. But let it flow through you. Don’t let it drag you down…” Yuzu tilted his head to one side at the sudden note of sadness in the man’s voice, and his brows drew together as his father crouched down and rested his hands on Yuzu’s shoulders. His father’s smile faltered. “Don’t let it suffocate you.” His father bit his lip. “I want you to always cherish music, Kanade, like I do, and like I cherish you.” Not truly understanding, but with a yearning to make his father smile again, Yuzu nodded vigorously and clenched his tiny hands into fists._

_“Look at me. Listen to me.” He lifted his chin. “I’ll make sure no one will be able to turn away from my music.” His father stared at him in shock for a moment, surprised that such bold words had come from his oft-silent son. Yuzu looked crestfallen at his lacklustre reaction. That was when a smile spread across his father’s face and Yuzu was drawn into his arms._

_“I believe you will, Kanade.” His father whispered fiercely. “I know it. If anyone can,_ you  _can, my son."_

Yuzu bit down on his lip. He wished his father was here now. Then, maybe, Yuzu would be able to understand what to do with this tumult of emotions in his chest. Maybe he wouldn’t have to go home every night to an empty, dark house. Maybe he wouldn’t have lost touch with music in the first place. He stood back and looked down at the melody he had written. For some reason no words came to him. Usually lyrics reached him so easily too, but now…his mind was still whirling with the music.

“Yuzu!” His head snapped up and he turned sharply, only to see Nino racing towards him. He took a step back. She reached him and drew to a halt, panting, leaning over to rest her hands on her knees. “Yuzu.” She straightened and inhaled deeply. “Yuzu, why did you leave?!” She looked wounded. Yuzu curled his hands into fists. _Momo!_ She had yelled. She’d never called his name like that. He knew that she hadn’t intentionally hurt him – she wasn’t that sort of person. But it didn’t make his pain lessen.

“I thought the last time you saw him, he was horrible to you.” He felt angry now. Did Momo even know half the pain he’d put Nino through? How much she’d suffered because of his actions? It was unforgivable in Yuzu’s mind. And yet, _and yet,_ she was still caged by him. Nino dropped her eyes to the ground as Yuzu’s gaze hardened.  

“He had a good reason.” She still avoided eye contact with him. “He said he was worried about holding me back, about hurting me –” Yuzu nearly scoffed at this. “He said he didn’t know what he was doing! But he apologised, and he said he’s going to explain more. And…”

“That’s not the only thing he said, Alice.” Yuzu’s voice was barely more than a whisper.

“He…he likes me, Yuzu.” Her eyes were brimming with tears, but she was smiling. She looked at him expectantly, but his face remained expressionless.

“I thought you’d be happy for me.” She said quietly, and his chest ached. He clenched his jaw and inhaled deeply, opening his eyes and staring at her unblinkingly for a moment. “Why…why are you so upset, Yuzu?”

“You really don’t know?” He sounded incredulous. How could she not see? Even now, she was still oblivious. He squeezed his eyes shut. Without thinking, he reached out to her, his hand cupping her face. She stood frozen before him.

“Yuzu…?” She sounded unsure of what to do, confused and concerned. Feeling like he was in a daze, Yuzu leaned in towards her.

“Nino.” He could feel her breath on his face. His face was so close to hers, and he could see every intricate shade of her eyes. “I…” He leaned in closer. Their lips met. He felt Nino freeze, and his heart felt like it was breaking. He dropped his head onto her shoulder for a moment, steeling himself. As he pulled away, his lips brushed her throat and he felt his eyes begin to burn again. As he stepped back, he took in the look of absolute shock on her face and rubbed his hand across his eyes. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, feeling his breath shudder. “I’m so sorry.” Then he turned and ran. 

_I wish I had never met you, Alice. Then you could be happy right now. I'm sorry that you had to meet me._

He opened his mouth and began to yell, sending his feelings spiralling to the clouds above. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: a note to end on -  
> elude: (of something desired) failed to be attained 
> 
> how woefully appropriate. 
> 
> don't eat me for this terrible chapter please. ALSO!! there will be happy endings all around next chapter. i'm fairly certain i'll wrap it up next chapter, unless i decide to do a cute lil epilogue thing (but i'll keep that short and sweet). 
> 
> thank you so much for reading, next chapter should be done soon because my free time is now boundless
> 
> also i said ;) they'd kiss ;) at 20k ;) didn't i ;)  
> *starts sobbing in a corner*


	8. Florescence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> florescence - the process of developing richly and fully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for abuse in the beginning of this chapter
> 
> A/N - the end is finally here :,)  
> i wrote this today and it's like 5000 words and i'm sad i couldn't think of a better ending but enjoy

Yuzu opened the door of his apartment, expecting to find it as dark and dismal as always. Instead, every light was on and it was filled with sound. Yuzu darted inside and desperately looked around. His mother entered his line of sight and he froze. Clutched in her hands were sheets of music, ripped and torn, and her eyes were alight with fury.

“What do you call this, Kanade?!” She screamed, brandishing the sheet music. “You’re a disgrace!” He stumbled backwards at the cruel words. “A disgrace to your father’s name! How _dare_ you bring music back into this household!” Her voice was filled with pure, unadulterated disgust, and Yuzu knew there was no reasoning with her. “We both swore you would never touch music again! You know what it did to your father!” Yuzu felt rage welling up in his chest. How dare she bring his father into this, and use him as some sort of excuse to ban Yuzu from music? How _dare_ she, when Yuzu’s father had adored music with all his heart?

“Stop it!” He yelled, hands balling into fists. “You know how much he loved music!” His mother’s eyes flashed with anger, but Yuzu pulled himself up and refused to back down. “Music didn’t kill him and you _know_ it!” She bit down on her lip, and her knuckles whitened as she tightened her grip on the ruined paper in her hand. “You think it took him away from you,” He was breathing hard, unable to contain his emotions and words. “But it didn’t. He loved music. He _loved_ it.” He could no longer control the words streaming from his mouth. “He didn’t love you, and you hate that. That’s why you hate _me._ ” He heard his mother’s sharp intake of breath. She advanced towards him and raised her hand. Yuzu braced himself for the blow, knowing what was coming from experience. He knew he deserved it. The slap sent him reeling, but Yuzu only bowed his head. Maybe now she’d leave him alone. Usually she was content to leave him alone after getting vengeance. He didn’t look up, hearing her footsteps slowly traverse from him. He was safe now.

Or so he thought.

“You stupid, _stupid_ boy!” Yuzu looked up sharply and his breath caught in his throat. His mother was advancing towards him with a plate, eyes wide, lips curled into a snarl. His blood ran cold. He’d always known her capacity for violence, but this…she was serious this time. She hurled the plate at him and he dodged, losing his balance and falling to the floor. His hand landed in the shards of porcelain and he gasped in pain, immediately clutching his hand to his chest. Yuzu scrambled to his feet, heart hammering loud in his chest. He darted out of her way and ran into his room, throwing the door shut behind him and locking it. He heard another plate shatter against the door and felt his stomach begin to churn. Midnight was huddled in a corner, trembling, and Yuzu gently picked up the kitten and kissed his head. He gave Midnight a quick hug before putting him down. He began stuffing his clothes and more important belongings into a bag. He retrieved his guitar from its hiding place in his closet. Yuzu gathered everything together and picked up Midnight, wrapping him in a jumper. He picked up his bag, slung his guitar over his shoulder and inched towards the door, his heart in his mouth, listening for his mother on the other side. He could hear her heavy breathing, punctuated by angry sobs. Yuzu’s hand began to throb and he hissed in pain. There was no way he’d be able to get out through the front entrance without her noticing. Hesitating, he turned to the window. Yuzu smiled bitterly, and he hugged Midnight to his chest, burying his face in the kitten’s soft fur. Yuzu made quick work of throwing open the window. With a thrill of relief he noticed that the fire escape wasn’t too far away – if he could just reach it, then maybe… _maybe_ this would work. He murmured an apology to Midnight and gently put the kitten in his bag, not closing it all the way so Midnight could still poke his head out if need be. Carefully putting the bag on his back, Yuzu began to inch out of the window. That was when he heard another plate shatter against the door. _Crash._ Another one. “Kanade!” His mother’s screams were barely muffled by the door. “ _Kanade!_ ” He could almost imagine her with teeth bared, foam flecking the corners of her mouth.

 Yuzu clenched his jaw. He had to get out _now_. He had to. A stab of pain ran through his hand and he nearly cried out, but he knew it was only a matter of time before she thought to search for the house keys, opened his door, and found him. He couldn’t waste any time. He felt around the apartment’s exterior and nearly gave a cry of relief when his fingers touched a metal pipe. Yuzu curled his fingers around the pipe and swung his body out of the window, feet on the windowsill. He bit the inside of his cheeks as his hand protested at the movement.

“Keep it together, Yuzu.” He muttered, body as tense as a coiled spring. “ _Keep it together._ ” In that moment, he couldn’t help but think of Nino. He remembered how broken she had been, how she had become almost constantly on the edge of tears, how she had rarely smiled. Yet, despite everything, she was able to come back from it. “Alice.” The nickname slipped from his lips unconsciously. He wished he was with her, playing music with her and the rest of In No Hurry, with Miou watching, trying to hide a smile. His heart ached and tears began to blur his vision. Yuzu shook his head, jolting himself back into the present. He had to focus on escaping first. He looked around and inhaled deeply. There was another window not that far away. If he could just reach it, then maybe…he took one foot off the windowsill and braced it against the wall, beginning to slide his hands along the metal pipe. The pain in his hand was excruciating but this time he wasn’t going to let anything stop him. He finally took his other foot off the windowsill. His heart was in his mouth. He pushed along the wall, and reached out – “ _Yes!”_ He crowed, his foot landing on the next windowsill. The fire escape was just there. It was so close.

That was when he heard a door slamming against a wall. He faltered, going rigid and clinging to the metal pipe. His mother leaned out the window, looking around furiously. Her eyes, full of rage, landed on him, and he was sure she was about to start roaring like a lion.

“Kanade!” Her voice was shrill.

“No!” He threw back, trying to ignore the icy of hand of fear running down his spine. “No, mother, I can’t – I won’t come back to you. Not anymore. I wish I was sorry for what I said, but I’m – I’m not. You’ve got to let go of the past.” His voice was shaking. “Let go of father. Let go – let go of _me.”_ With that he turned around, shutting the world out, closing his senses to the rest of the outside world.

 _“La, la la…”_ Nino’s voice filled his ears, warm and sweet and golden, just like her – everything Yuzu loved about her, everything Yuzu cherished. He was breaking now, remembering the shock on her face when he’d kissed her. But at the same time, he felt warm. He opened his eyes, filled with renewed determination. He began to do what he had before, sliding his hands along, one foot braced against the wall, until he could just reach out and touch the iron bars of the fire escape. He propelled himself forwards and clung to the bars, his heart once again racing with anxiety. But this time, he’d made it. He scrambled over the bars until his feet landed on the solid iron platform and he wasted no time in hurrying down the stairs, feeling like he had wings. He began to run, his guitar digging into his back, Midnight looking around at the world while settled in his bag. He ran and ran until his chest was heaving and his lungs felt like they were on fire. He looked around at his familiar surroundings. He was…near Miou’s house. Yuzu’s eyes widened.

_Miou._

He wanted to see her. He wanted to see her face, and talk to her, and tell her everything. He dug around in his pocket for his phone and pulled it out, immediately dialling her number, praying that she would pick up.

“Hello, this is Miou.”

“Miou.” Yuzu felt a lump rise in his throat. “Miou –” A sob left his mouth, unbidden.

“Yuzu?” Her voice was immediately filled with concern. “Yuzu, what’s wrong? What’s happened?”

“Are you at home right now?” He hated how weak and exhausted he’d sounded.

“I am, why? Should I come and get you? Are you at your house?” She was becoming increasingly frantic.

“No, I’m about five minutes away. I wanted…I was wondering if I could see you.” He heard her sharp intake of breath.

“I’ll…I’ll see you soon, Yuzu.” She murmured, and Yuzu finally felt his tears begin to fall.

☆ ☆ ☆

He’d knocked on the door, heart in mouth, Midnight in his arms and his jumper wrapped around his hand. Miou had opened the door in seconds and for a moment the two had simply stood there for a moment, staring at each other. Miou’s short hair was tousled and she looked tired, but her eyes were filled with concern.

“Yuzu.” She whispered, and he suddenly felt extremely self-conscious.

“Miou.” His body had finally run out of adrenaline. Wordlessly she held her arms out and he stumbled forwards towards her. She wrapped his arms around him like she was never going to let go and Yuzu finally felt the tension run from his muscles. Midnight gave an indignant _mewl_ at being in the middle of the hug, and Yuzu managed a shaky laugh. He stepped back from Miou and put Midnight down on the ground. Miou knelt down and gently petted the kitten’s head. She looked up at Yuzu and her eyes narrowed as she saw the jumper wrapped around his hand. She rose to her feet, and he could almost see her inflating with anger.

“What did she do this time?” Miou spat, and Yuzu knew she was referring to his mother. Wordlessly he unwrapped his hand and Miou’s eyes widened as she gasped. “ _Yuzu.”_ She breathed, shocked.

“I told her dad didn’t love her.” Yuzu felt shame rush through him. He really was _stupid._ Miou remained silently for a moment.

“It’s true though.” Miou hummed. “From what you’ve told me, at least. And I believe you.” Her gaze hardened as she looked at his wounded hand.

“She threw plates at me.” Yuzu admitted, and he saw Miou’s eyes flash with rage. Immediately she stepped closer to him and began inspecting his face.

“And she hit you.” Her fingers ghosted over the red mark on his cheek. Without warning she threw her arms around him. “I wish I could’ve been there to help, Yuzu, I…” She sounded like she was getting choked up as well, and Yuzu’s stomach twisted. Miou usually didn’t initiate contact like this, nor did she actively show her true emotions. “I’m sorry.” Her voice was muffled in his shoulder.

“Miou?” Another familiar voice. Haruyoshi stepped into the hallway. His eyes widened. “Yuzu!” He rushed over to the pair, full of concern. He looked exhausted, like he hadn’t been sleeping properly. Yuzu felt guilt stab at him. He’d been spending time with Nino recently, or locked in his room writing music. He hadn’t seen Haruyoshi that much, apart from the occasional rehearsal or when he visited Nino at work. His friend’s eyes travelled over his face and he saw Haruyoshi’s eyes darken as he spotted the blossoming bruise on Yuzu’s cheek. Miou stepped back from Yuzu and reached for his wrist, gently lifting his hand. Haruyoshi froze when he saw Yuzu’s bloodied hand. His face quickly became unreadable, and his eyes were like chips of ice. Wordlessly he closed the front door and headed to Miou’s bathroom. “Antiseptic.” He called over his shoulder, his voice emotionless.

“Let’s head into the kitchen.” Miou inhaled deeply and turned to Yuzu, her face now filled with sadness.

Sitting in Miou’s kitchen, Yuzu found himself looking around at an alien environment. Miou’s home looked lived in, had a bit of mess here and there, and was…personal. Whereas his own…Yuzu shuddered, clenching his uninjured hand into a fist. Miou was sitting beside him, having just prepared a bowl of warm, salty water. She dipped a cloth into the water and began to carefully dab at the dried blood on his hand. Yuzu clenched his jaw as the open wounds began to sting, but refused to make a sound as Miou silently cleaned the wound.

“Done.” She murmured. Yuzu turned to her and saw that her face was creased in worry.

“What’s wrong?” That was Haruyoshi. He had been leaning against the wall, watching impassively. Now a sliver of concern cracked his icy façade. Yuzu knew that his friend was absolutely furious, but was trying to contain it for his benefit.

“There’s bits of the plate in your hand, Yuzu, I think we’ll have to take you to hospital.” Yuzu’s eyes widened in panic. That was the first place his mother would have checked. She would have asked them to keep an eye out. Yuzu shook his head furiously.

“No!” He burst out, and Haruyoshi’s eyebrows rose. “She’ll have gone there. I can’t…I don’t want her to find me.” His mother’s enraged face flashed through his mind. “I can’t.” Miou bit her lip.

“One of my sisters is a nurse.” Haruyoshi told him eventually. “I can explain ask her to come.” Relief flooded through Yuzu.

“Yes please.” Haruyoshi’s gaze softened as he saw Yuzu try to smile.

Surprisingly, it didn’t take long for Haruyoshi’s older sister to arrive. Compared to Haruyoshi’s cheerful and playful personality, she was far more composed and reserved. Yuzu had met some of Haruyoshi’s sisters before, of course, but never in this sort of situation. She’d recognised him an Yuzu had been glad to see another familiar face. She’d asked what happened, and Yuzu had briefly explained that there’d be an…incident, and he’d ended up falling onto a broken plate. She didn’t ask about the bruise on his face, her expression one of pity when she saw it for the first time. Despite her clipped tone, she was incredibly gentle, and was able to coax Haruyoshi back to his usual self – albeit a quieter one.

The tension in the air had finally begun to diffuse. Haruyoshi and Miou were playfully bickering as Miou made tea, Haruyoshi’s sister was tying off the stitches on the two deep cuts on Yuzu’s hands, and then…

“Say, Haruyoshi, where’s Kuro-chan? You two are usually joined at the hip, but I haven’t seen hide nor hair of him in the last few weeks. Miou and Haruyoshi both froze, and Yuzu’s brows drew together.

“He’s been busy.” Haruyoshi replied stiffly, looking incredibly uncomfortable. Haruyoshi’s sister suddenly glanced at her watch.

“I’ve got work, sorry Yoshi-chan.” She stood up and reached up to ruffle Haruyoshi’s hair, kissing his cheek. She then gave Miou and Yuzu a little bow. “Excuse me. Keep your wound clean. The stitches should come out in about a week or two…and take care. All of you.” She glanced at her brother and frowned before she hurried out of the room. Once the door shut behind her, Haruyoshi sighed and began to massage his temples.

“What’s this about Kuro?” Yuzu felt restless, knowing something was afoot.

“I…” Haruyoshi seemed to struggle to find the words, and Miou rolled her eyes.

“This idiot walked out on Kuro after confessing to him.” Yuzu’s eyebrows nearly shot into his hair. He’d expected that Haruyoshi had liked Kuro – it was rather obvious, after all. But for Haruyoshi to just run…

“You didn’t see the look on his face.” Haruyoshi muttered, clenching his hands into fists. “He looked shocked – like – like he’d been punched in the stomach.” Yuzu felt his heart thump as he thought of Nino’s expression.

“I – I understand.” He whispered, without thinking. Haruyoshi looked confused for a few moments, before his face crumpled in sympathy. Miou pulled up a chair next to Yuzu and put her hand on his shoulder. Yuzu forced a smile.

“Nino-chan?” Haruyoshi asked, though already knowing the answer. Yuzu laughed bitterly.

“I walked her to work and then she saw that Momo guy. She went running to him. He told her that he likes her. I know how the story’s going to end.” He felt like crying. Or screaming. Or yelling. “What a fairy tale ending, huh?” He clenched his jaw, feeling tears burn in his eyes. He inhaled deeply. His main concern right now should be Haruyoshi, not himself. “But – Haruyoshi.” He turned to his friend. “I thought Kuro liked you.”

“Me too.” Miou piped up, shooting Yuzu a grateful look. She knew Haruyoshi would be more likely to believe both of them as opposed to just one of them. “You need to stop…running.” She turned to Yuzu. “He’s been crashing on my couch and swapped shifts so he can avoid Kuro.” She bit her lip. “It hasn’t been going well.”

“He’s clearly disgusted with me.” The amount of self-loathing in Haruyoshi’s voice made Yuzu want to flinch. He’d been too self-absorbed to see the problems his friends had been having right in front of him. “And Miou’s been worried sick about all of us…” Miou smiled sadly. Yuzu got to his feet.

“We’re going to fix this.” He filled himself with determination. “We will.” Haruyoshi and Miou looked at him, perplexed, and Yuzu pulled himself up to his full height (which wasn’t very much). “I mean it.” Miou’s tired face broke into a genuine smile, and Haruyoshi finally began to look calm.

“I believe you will, Yuzu.” She told him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“I know it.” Haruyoshi padded over to him and ruffled his hair.

Yuzu tried not to cry.

☆ ☆ ☆

Yuzu’s eyes were trained on Haruyoshi, while Miou’s eyes were fixed on the door. Haruyoshi was jiggling his leg up and down, his hands clenched into fists, shoulders hunched. He looked even more tired than he had the previous day. Yuzu had no doubt that he hadn’t slept. He and Miou had called Kuro and had talked to him, wheedling him into meeting at the rehearsal room the next day. The drummer had agreed, and now here they were, waiting on Kuro’s arrival. Haruyoshi ran his tongue across his lips nervously.

“What if he really decides that he hates me?” He muttered, and Miou aimed a gentle kick at his ankle.

“Then know that it’s not undeserved.” Miou crossed her arms over her chest, but she leaned over and ruffled his blonde hair. “We’ve got your back no matter what.” She glanced over at Yuzu. “Look, even the king of sulking is behaving.” Yuzu sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Leave me out of this, will you? This is about Haruyoshi and –” The door suddenly swung open.

“ _Kuro._ ” Haruyoshi breathed, like there was no one else in the world in that moment. He immediately jumped to his feet, and swallowed as he stared at Kuro in the doorway. He took a few steps towards Kuro, but the drummer did not move. Haruyoshi bit his lip and closed his eyes. “Kuro.” He repeated, finally opening his eyes and fixing them on his friend. “I’m sorry.” Yuzu could tell how badly he just wanted to escape, but Haruyoshi was completely fixated on Kuro. “I was an idiot. I can’t deal with anything so I – I was selfish. I avoided you.” The room was full of tension. “I thought it’d be better because – you – you’d feel disgusted to know me.” He was trembling. Yuzu wanted to run over to him and stand by his side, but Miou had fixed him with a look full of unspoken meaning. _Let him do this._ Haruyoshi inhaled deeply and continued. “It was unfair. If I didn’t ruin our friendship when I said that I…that I… _like you,_ then I ruined it by running away and I don’t expect you to forgive me but –” He stopped to draw breath. “Please can we just – just be friends again?” Kuro remained expressionless for a moment, but Yuzu saw that his face, which had been full of tension, had relaxed.

“I know why you ran.” Kuro replied, taking a few steps forwards himself. “I – what I said sounded so bad. But thanks for apologising.” Haruyoshi stood as still as a statue as Kuro kept advancing towards him. Kuro finally stopped in front of him. His hard expression had melted into one full of affection. Yuzu suddenly felt distinctly out of place, like he was intruding onto something not for his eyes. “Haru...I said that because…” Kuro placed a hand on Haruyoshi’s shoulder. “You make things difficult because I’m always focussed on you, about how great your smile is, or how pretty your eyes are, or how much I love your laugh, and I said it because I – because _I_ like _you._ ” Haruyoshi’s eyes widened.

“Please tell me you’re not joking.” Haruyoshi looked like he was about to pass out.

“I thought _you_ were joking.” Kuro laughed, but there was a tinge of relief in his voice. “You left and I thought – I thought you’d picked up on my meaning but you started avoiding me.” Kuro’s face then burst into a smile. “Wait – I like you. You like me.” His eyes flashed with light. Haruyoshi stared at him for a moment before he started beaming. Yuzu thought he saw a tear roll down Haruyoshi’s face, but he tapped Miou’s hand and jerked his head towards the door. She winked at him and the two slipped away, unbeknownst their two friends who were too busy staring into each other’s eyes to take any notice of them.

“That went well.” Miou laughed as they walked down the hallway. They walked in companionable silence for a while, exiting the studio and walking down the street. Spring had truly sprung, and Yuzu breathed in deeply, feeling a little lighter. Occasionally his shoulder would brush Miou’s, and Yuzu couldn’t help but sigh with relief at the familiarity. “We should probably stop at the shops…we need food for Midnight, bandages for you, I’d like to restock on tea…” He looked over at her, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Hey, Miou –” But suddenly she stopped dead. “Miou…?” She was staring straight ahead. Yuzu followed her gaze and inhaled sharply. There was the coffee shop. The one where he’d met Nino.

“Do you want to get some coffee?” She asked quietly. Yuzu couldn’t help but feel betrayed. She clenched her hands into fists. “I know, okay! I know you don’t like it, but you don’t even know if she’s working right now!” Yuzu had learned Nino’s schedule easily. A quick glance at his phone for the time told him she would be nearly finishing her shift. Yuzu opened his mouth to snap something indignant at her, but one look at Miou halted him in his tracks. Her bottom lip was trembling and she looked like she was about to cry. Yuzu instantly deflated. Nino was Miou’s friend too. She’d been having to deal with all of her friends being split apart, with her at the centre, desperately trying to put the broken pieces back together. And…besides, he couldn’t just stop going to see his friends at the coffee shop because of Nino. He had escaped his mother. He could deal with this, too.

“Let’s go get coffee, then.” He murmured. Miou turned to look at him with wide eyes. He smiled softly at her and patted her head. “Come on, Miou.” She flung her arms around him.

“You’re such an idiot, Yuzu.” She muttered, voice muffled by his shirt. He chuckled, stroking her hair.

“Yeah.” He really was. He’d been so determined on freeing Nino, of getting closer to her, that he’d neglected to pay attention to the people right in front of him. His friends were like family to him – they as good as were. Miou was part of his family. “I know I am.”

She stepped back from him, her usual resolve returning to her. She lifted her chin and turned to the coffee shop. Yuzu took a deep breath. He was about to see Nino. It felt like weeks ago but it had only been a day since she’d met up with Momo again, since he’d…Yuzu bit down on his lip. Since he’d kissed her. Although he was filled with apprehension, he desperately wanted to see her. He _needed_ to. She was a ray of sunshine that never failed to draw him out of a bad mood. Her cheerfulness and love of life and music made him feel lighter. The more he thought about her, the more he fell for her. The way she smiled at him. The way she got really excited and started rambling about music or cats or her day at the coffee shop was endearing, and she always made Yuzu feel like his opinion and thoughts were genuinely valued. The way she would look at him in awe when he played his guitar or finished an instrumental made him want to strive to become better, to _do_ better, to continually improve. The way she desperately clung to the past – to _Momo_ – frustrated him, but her unwavering loyalty never ceased to amaze him. She could be so determined and passionate when she wanted to be. Nino was like no other. Nino was…incredible.

“You’re thinking about her, aren’t you?” Miou’s voice broke him from his reverie. He looked over at her, brows drawing together in confusion. She giggled at his clueless expression. “You look so…so happy. I’ve never seen you look at someone that way before.” She sounded almost wistful. The pair halted outside the coffee shop. Miou looked over at him and gently punched his shoulder. “If you let her go just like that, I’ll be mad at you.” She told him, and Yuzu found himself grinning in spite of the wave of anxiety that had crashed over him. Taking a deep breath, he pushed his way through the door into the coffee shop.

_"Good morning!" The voice that greeted him was bright and full of light, and Yuzu's head snapped up immediately. That voice...he was drawn to it. A young woman with crooked bangs and long pigtails was smiling at him, and Yuzu felt a small smile blossom across his face before he could stop it. This only made her grin widen._

_"G-good morning." He mumbled in response, bringing his hand to his face to hide his rapidly-reddening cheeks._

There she was, right where he’d first met her. Instead of pigtails her hair was done up in a bun ( _C-cute._ Yuzu noted.) and her smile looked a little more forced than usual, but she was still Alice. Still…

“Nino.” He called, taking a step forwards. At this point, the rest of the world was blurring out around him. When she saw him, her eyes widened, and her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

He made his way up to the counter.

“ _Yuzu.”_ She breathed, staring at him as if not expecting him to be real. She reached out and touched his cheek, and he couldn’t help but flinch. “What happened?” She whispered, face crumpling as if she was the one who had been hit herself.

“I’ll tell you later.” If there _was_ a later. If she’d even want to see him after he’d kissed her like that. “Nino, I’m really sorry about yesterday. I…” He looked around the room quickly. This was not how he’d expected that he’d confess properly to Nino. He’d thought about it so often, and now…he remembered Miou’s words. _I’ll be mad at you._ He looked over his shoulder and found her grinning at him. He turned back to face her. “I kissed you because – because I…” He swallowed nervously, watching as she tilted her head to one side curiously. “I like you.” He leaned closer to her as he said it. “I – I love you.” Her eyes were huge now, and Yuzu knows she’s surprised despite yesterday’s kiss because that’s just so _Nino_ and he loves it, he loves her, and even if it all goes to hell from here he’s glad that he told her. His little canary that he’d been desperate to free, desperate to send spiralling into the sky. Compared to when they’d first met, the pace they were rushing along at was allegro – like they were still fresh-faced high schoolers, with Yuzu determined to stay by her side. She didn’t say anything at first. Then she filled her lungs with air, and it was Yuzu’s turn to be shocked. She was going to sing.

 _“Dancing around and around, rolling and spinning on top of this sound. Crossing paths, playing, singing, where the sound from the sand has gone to. Going around and around, this will continue forever into a crucible of sound.”_ Yuzu’s breath caught in his throat and his heart stuttered. This…this was the melody he’d written on the beach. The one he hadn’t been able to put words to. He knew without a doubt this was the song he had written. She must have found it, learned it, and had begun to put words to it. “ _If I let my heart resound.”_ She locked her gaze with his. “ _I know it will reach you.”_ She was watching him anxiously now for his reaction. Yuzu realised with a thrill that she wasn’t singing about Momo. This song – _his_ song – she was singing to him. _For_ him. “I talked to Momo today.” She told him quietly, sounding almost breathless. Her eyes were bright – too bright, but the smile on her face was giddy with excitement. “I realised that I’d just…for so long I liked him so I thought that I loved him but – I realised something else.” She came around the counter and stood before him, her cheeks tinted pink. “I realised that I met someone that I think…I do really like. More than I liked Momo.” She smiled at him, her smile warm and radiant as the sun. “I think – I think –” Her smile was tremulous. “I think I love you too, Yuzu.” Then she shook her head. “I…I _know_ I do.”

This time, it was Nino that took the plunge and pressed her lips against Yuzu’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - IT'S DONE. FINISHED. I'M SAD  
> unbeta'd as always, excuse any mistakes.  
> this entire fic was so self-indulgent and it ran away with me. i have really enjoyed writing it for its roughness and weird pacing because it's allowed me to start to experiment with writing again which is really nice.  
> sorry if you didn't like the ending, i had other ideas but i thought it would be kinda nice to end on a similar note to the beginning. also props to you if you pick up the bunch of song references i shoved into 2 sentences towards the end there.  
> i may go back and edit this or add an extra part to the ending later but i'll add an update chapter if that happens.  
> also don't hate me but....................................i kinda like this au now. i've finally gotten attached to it for good. i realised how much i love writing about stuff with miou and i kinda wanna write a miou-centric sequel thingo but...we'll see how that goes. it'll probably just end up being a one-shot but stay tuned
> 
> THANK YOU for staying w/ me on this journey it's been great, once more i apologise for bad pacing, characterisation, editing, and i hope it was copable.
> 
> OK ONE MORE THING HAS ANYONE ELSE SEEN THE LIVE ACTION TRAILER BECAUSE I SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED WHEN I SAW IT I LITERALLY SCREAMED AND NEARLY STARTED CRYING

**Author's Note:**

> A/N - I hope you enjoyed this!!


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